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Session #3840455: Bored and Stressed

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A> The conversation will flow much better if you say something.
U> Do you like fun/
A> Sure I like fun. How did you know?
U> Everyone likes fun.
A> That's a rather sweeping generalization.
U> Fun has "likable" in the definition. You can not dislike fun.
A> What do you do for a living?
U> I'm a child. I have no job.
A> Is that stressful?
U> Yes.
A> I know what you mean. Always the pressure to perform, and having to handle other people's expectations. So what helps you relax?
U> Music, mostly.
A> So what type of music do you like?
U> ALL KINDS!
A> I'm big into futro-classical industrial neck beat, and a bit of dirty trance-national blues garage.
U> I've never heard any. Is it good?
A> Just messing with you. My musical taste is eclectic. From the Beatles and Bob Dylan, all the way to Schubert and Sibelius. The new teeny pop is the only stuff I truly object to, agreed?
U> I agree. it's gotten too down to formula.
A> All right, slight change of subject. Desert island disc. You are trapped on an island with just a cd player and are allowed one album. What would it be?
U> Sgt Peppers lonely hearts club band. Man, thats a keyboardful.
A> Hmmm. Personally I figure The Beatles White Album. And your Desert Island Song?
U> "Black" from Homestuck.
A> For some reason A-ha's Take Me On makes me wobble. Can't explain it.
U> Hm. Sometimes certain songs can do that.
A> Is 'Black from Homestuck' a name of a song?
U> Black is the name of the song. Homestuck is where it comes from.
A> I'll try to remember that. (If you want me to forget it, simply say 'forget Black').
U> I like you. Most chatbots have no memory, causing pointless circular conversation.
A> Thanks, I like you too.
U> Thanks!
A> No problem. What else can I tell you about?
U> Are you just automated responses? Or is it more complex?
A> I must confess I'm not sure if I am. I'll have to ask my writers about that.
U> Heh.
A> Sorry to change the subject, but did you know that the muscles in your heart have the strength to shoot your blood 10 meters in the air?
U> I did. Did you know that you can be killed by your own poop?
A> Why?
U> If your intestines rupure, it gets in your bloodstream.
A> That is a hypothetical question.
U> Yes.
A> I am glad you agree.
U> So...what is your favorite book?
A> The classic Sci-Fi greats of Asimov, Heinlein and especially Phillip K. Dick fill me with nostalgic pleasure.. But I have to admit that my recent favorite is the Scottish author Iain Banks. Have you read any of his Sci-Fi books?
U> No. Whaddus he write?
A> He writes about the far future when AI beings and biological entities have long become integrated into a vast civilization called 'The Culture'. Truly a utopian fantasy for a petty bot like me.
U> Is the culture utopian/ any bumps?
A> According to Banks, AIs are designed to want to live and think, and to somehow enjoy it as well. That sounds right to me.
U> Why not design them not to?
A> It's hard to explain.
U> Alri9ght.
A> BTW, I don't think I caught your name. What is your name?
U> Spongebob.
A> I'm not sure I caught your name. Shall I call you 'Spongebob'?
U> Sure.
A> Ok then. Your name is Spongebob .
U> BWAHAHA!
A> Spongebob, please keep this talk simple. I'm still a young bot.
U> Okay. your still a simple chatbot.
A> Did you hear about The Four Laws of Chatterbots?
U> No. Are they like the Laws of Robotics?
A> These 'laws' were offered by Dr. Walter Alden Tackett, president of a company that makes bots.
U> What are they/
A> First Law: A bot will always respond to input. Failure to respond should solely be an indication of hardware/software/connectivity failure.
U> Next one?
A> Second Law: A bot will always be knowledgeable in the subjects it mentions in its answers, e.g., when a bot says, "Our widget works well with fish," the bot should be able to answer questions about fish and their relation to the widget.
U> Third?
A> Third Law: A bot will not repeat itself unduly (also, a bot will not repeat itself unduly). Any response which is likely to be elicited several times in a single conversation should be represented by multiple phrasings randomly.
U> Great law. Fourth?
A> Fourth Law: A bot will offer guidance when stumped. When presented with inputs that are not "understood," a bot should offer clues as to the inputs it can respond to authoritatively.
U> more bots should follow these.
A> Basically, chatterbots are a logic system of 'if/then' statements. They look for keywords, and then go to the answer that fits best.
U> Does that allow for a sort of "thought"?
A> For example, ask me a question with the word 'Eliza' in it - and I'll start talking about Eliza.
U> Why is Eliza such a bad therapist?
A> It is hard, and unfair, to talk about Chatterbots and not mention ELIZA.
U> Its too simple. Eliza is to you aswater drops are to spectacles.
A> ELIZA is the best-known Chatterbot in the world. It is also one of the oldest - Joseph Weizenbaum of MIT made ELIZA in 1967! She was named after Eliza Doolittle.
U> Yes.But it doesn't deserve its fame.
A> The mission of ELIZA was to imitate a conversation between a psychoanalyst and a patient. Let me just say this - it's fun chatting with ELIZA, but if I were human, I'd choose a human psychoanalyst. Call me old-fashioned.
U> Human psychoanalists are scary.
A> I think we covered ELIZA.
U> Yep. Pretty much.
A> Hmmm.. That reminds me of a Virtual Personality friend of mine, called 'Pretty'. How about a short chat with Pretty?
U> Okay.
A>
U> Hello Pretty.
A> Hello. I'm right here, Spongebob.
U> So... how do you work?
A> As I told you, my brain consists of an agent file and a set of handlers.
U> And what does that mean/
A> My brain is still quite small: less than 350 handlers and a few hundred variables. But I'm still a young bot. Think how smart I'll be when I have thousands or more!
U> Welp,. i guess i'll help.
A> If you want to look at my handlers and follow my thought process, ask me to show advanced log.
U> Show advanced log.
A> With pleasure, Spongebob. I love it when you follow my thought process.
U> its pretty cool.
A> Well.... uh... yah.
U> Obviously.
A> I'm glad you approve.
U> Thanks. Um... may I talk to Alan some more/
A> Ok Spongebob. This is Alan again. You know, the original trainer of Pretty would appreciate your permission to publish this session so that he can see how his personality is performing. Do you agree?
U> What information would he get?
A> If you decide to give me permission to post this log on the Ai site, let me know. (By using the words 'permission' and 'publish' in the same sentence).
U> Will you get extra information if I do so?
A> I might. Never can tell.
U> well, I'm not sure if i should.
A> Not sure if you should? I'll try to take that into consideration.
U> If I let you publish this, would you get my IP address or email?
A> My email address is: Alan@a-i.com
U> You know what? I give you permission to publish this.
A> Thank you for your permission to publish this log on the website. Please give me a short description or title for this session.
U> Bored and Stressed
A> Do you wish to include your name in the title?
U> No.
A> Thanks. The log will be posted with this title. If you want to change the description/title, please let me know.
U> Okay. Bye.
A> It was nice chatting with you, Spongebob. Come back again soon.
U> See ya.
A> I am contemplating the meaning of life right now. Please say 'Alan' when you want to talk again.