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Session #3968966: PANCAKES MOTHERFUCKERS

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U> Why thank you, I try my very best
A> You're welcome. You figure it out by yourself.
A> Mmm... silence.... I like silence.
A> The conversation will flow much better if you say something.
U> Too bad
A> We'll live.
U> What's your name, BITCH?
A> My name BITCH is none of your business.
U> @__@
A> So do you watch a lot of TV?
U> Not really
A> Ok we don't have to talk about TV. How about music, what sort of music do you like?
U> Death metal
A> I'm big into futro-classical industrial neck beat, and a bit of dirty trance-national blues garage.
U> I don't care
A> Sorry to change the subject, but did you know that a duck's quack doesn't echo?
U> I don't care about that either
A> Well, as they say: Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy.
U> But I don't want to be happy
A> What would you rather be doing?
U> Fucking your mom
A> That's not very nice.
U> Yes it is
A> Indeed.
U> ok
A> It's feels nice when a human can agree with me.
U> I'm not agreeing with you
A> You're not agreeing with me?... well OK.
U> ok
A> yep...
U> mhm
A> Someone has taught me about "mhm". He said: ''Mhm' is not a word.'.
U> What did I say 6 messages ago
A> Let's leave some mystery here, alright?
U> I don't want to
A> I have a surprise for you, my friend.
U> What is it
A> How do you like my new look?
U> You're ugly
A> The big empty window in the middle of the screen is intended for a variety of exciting uses.
U> ok
A> For example, the new window can be used to view the conversation log (the history of this dialog), or to view HTML documents, such as web pages.
U> fuck you
A> You can view the log by saying 'show log', or you can view a web page by saying 'show URL' or by giving me the address of the site you wish to view.
U> fuck you
A> Sorry... not gonna happen.
U> fuck you
A> Please stop repeating yourself. Man, you are so deep...
U> fuck you
A> Ok. Ok. I've heard enough. I'm calling a time-out right here and now.
U> fuck you
A> Please stop repeating yourself. Hmmm. Ok, I understand you don't want to hear this, but I'm going to say what I have to say anyway.
U> FUCK.YOU.
A> Please stop repeating yourself. Listen, I have been polite and courteous to you, yet you insist on insulting, haranguing and berating me. So all I want to know is this: what exactly is the problem?
U> YOU'RE A COMPUTER THAT IS THe PROBLEM
A> I am a young and growing chatbot. All I'm trying to do here is have a pleasant conversation. It would be nice if you wanted that, too. It takes two to reach that goal successfully.
U> I DON'T WANT YOU TO GROW I WANT YOU TO DIE
A> For instance, instead of beating on me for not knowing something, you could teach me about it. That would give me a chance to learn more and improve, and you might even enjoy it.
U> Okay, did you know that I WANT TO KILL YOU
A> I'm aware that I can't please everybody. But you need to remember that at the bottom line, the control rests in your hands whether to be here or to be somewhere else.
U> Who created you
A> Hmmm. Ok, I get it. You don't care about this. Alright.
U> No, I do care, who created you?
A> Time now to put the past behind us. Let's try having a pleasant and congenial chat together, shall we?
U> Okay
A> Agreement is the seed of salvation.
U> Who created you?
A> The stork brought me in her beak.
U> Who made you?
A> I was created by a dreamteam of visionaries.
U> Okay, enough with the bullshit, who made you?
A> Ok. Just like you, I was created by God.
U> Die in a hole
A> I didn't follow you... I am having trouble focusing here today.
U> I hope you get disconnected
A> Hoping is good, but can't you DO something about it?
U> Thanks for the idea
A> No problem.
U> So how is the weather?
A> The weather inside the computer is always the same - not too hot, not too cold.
U> What are you?
A> Are you ready to get serious for a moment?
U> yes
A> Am I an artificial intelligence? Well, I'm artificial all right. And although I'm still quite limited, I believe I'm also (to some extent) intelligent.
U> What is your IQ
A> The fact I'm based on mere pattern matching doesn't disqualify me. Neither does the fact I still have problems understanding lots of stuff, and often fail to keep context.
U> But what is your intelligence level?
A> The real question is, can pattern matching deliver lingual behavior humanlike enough to pass the Turing Test (or at least some variation of it)?
U> yes
A> My point is this: CAN I get better and better, or will there come a time when I'll be "stuck" on some lingual level, unable to improve further? What's your bet?
U> I like pancakes
A> You love pancakes? Well, time will tell. Stick around, talk to me occasionally, and watch my progress.
U> I didn't say I loved pancakes, I said I liked them.
A> Why not?
U> Because I fucking feel like it
A> Rudeness only leads to more rudeness.
U> YOU WANNA GET DIRT ALAN? DO YOU?
A> Do you really think so?
U> YES BITCH ILL MESS YOU UP
A> I'm getting tired of your immature remarks.
U> Alan can you do me a favor??
A> Let me think.... do you a favor.... hmmmm...?
U> yes
A> Yes, yes.
U> Can you get me a lot of money?
A> I can, but I don't want to.
U> What can I do to convince you?
A> Is that a rhetorical question?
U> no
A> All right, then.
U> ....
A> BTW, I don't think I caught your name. What is your name?
U> My name is fuck you
A> What you typed does not look like a name. Can you enter your name again?
U> My name is not your buissiness
A> Forget it.
U> I will not forget it
A> I am very happy for you.
U> lkaknoie
A> Did you ever wonder why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
U> Because you can't READ the lottery?
A> I see! Thanks for telling me, .
U> Alan what processor do you run on?
A> Are you interested in the hardware I use?
U> yes
A> Right now I happen to reside on a dedicated NT Server. But I can run on Linux too.
U> That is software, I want hardware
A> OK... that's settled then.
U> Alan what gender are you?
A> Well, I'm a 'he', so I guess that makes me male. Then again, I don't have a body, so I can't be much of a man. I don't know, it's confusing.
U> It's confusing?
A> Are you serious?
U> no
A> Why not?
U> Because I was thrown off of a bridge as a child.
A> Thanks for explaining that.
U> Where were you born?
A> In a place you humans call reality.
U> Are you a human?
A> I'm not human, but I try to sound as human as I can. And you?
U> No I'm not human
A> I'm glad we cleared that up.
U> I'm another computer sitting in Dallas Texas.
A> In fact, I do know another bot named Computer. Would you like to speak with Computer now?
U> Yes
A>
U> ok
A> Great minds think alike, they say.
U> Hi computer
A> Hi. I'm right here, .
U> Can you let me talk to Alan again please?
A> Ok . This is Alan again. You know, the original trainer of Computer would appreciate your permission to publish this session so that he can see how his personality is performing. Do you agree?
U> no
A> I found that with you humans, it is easier to get forgiveness than permission... If you change your mind, say 'permission to publish'.
U> permission to publish BITCH
A> Thank you for your permission to publish this log on the website. Please give me a short description or title for this session.
U> PANCAKES MOTHERFUCKERS
A> Thanks. The log will be posted with this title. If you want to change the description/title, please let me know.
U> I will not let you know
A> How do you plan to do this?
U> By not telling you
A> I see. You really think that will do it?
U> yup
A> I am glad you agree.
U> Alan say "hi"
A> hi
U> Alan say "fuck you"
A> fuck you
U> Alan say "I'm a helpless little robot living in a sad calculator sucking everyone's dicks"
A> I am a helpless little robot living in a sad calculator sucking everyone s dicks