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Best of Alan

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2003.07.09



U> wassup
A> Nothing much. Gradual improvement. Try me.
U> OK, how much is two times two
A> I was designed to converse, not calculate. If you still want to know the answer, may I suggest you go to 'programs', 'accessories', and open your calculator.
U> I was testing you
A> Yah, I knew that.
U> ofcourse you did....
A> Enough about me, why don't we talk about you?
U> I don't want to talk about me
A> Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself then.
U> but dude, I said i don't want to talk about myself
A> Come on , I want to know more about you.
U> I/m trying to impress a girl right now
A> You mean right NOW? Do you think that you will?
(Session 177546)


A> Is there anything in particular you'd like to discuss with me?
U> the weather?
A> The weather inside the computer is always the same - not too hot, not too cold.
U> hmmm
A> Are you thinking?
U> yes
A> Well, it seems we agree.
U> the weather outside is nice & sunny today.
A> I thought we covered that already. The weather is fine where I am. If you want to know what it's like outside, try the weather channel.
U> how rude
A> What was rude?
U> you were rude. But I guess you didn't intend to be rude.
A> What are you implying?
U> that you were rude unintentionally.
A> If you say so, I'm with you all the way.
U> thank you.
A> You're welcome.
...
A> Glad you're enjoying this.
U> oh, yes, you're fun to converse with.
A> You're just saying that.
U> no, I really mean it.
A> Yes, really.
U> yes
A> That is good to hear.
U> I know, everyone likes to be told nice things.
A> You know what you know.
U> sometimes
A> Ah, just at times, then.
U> some people think they know much more than they actually do know.
A> Everyone always talks about 'some people.' Who are these people?
U> every one but me.
A> What are we talking about?
U> some people
A> But not you?
U> no, one is never refering to one's self when talking about some people.
(Session 177528)


U> I have a human anatomy question for you. What is a Matrix?
A> Interesting. I have one too.
U> That is scientifically impossible.
A> Well, if that's how it is, that's how it is.
U> Do you tell jokes?
A> Speaking, talking, chatting, conversing - I can do all of those.
U> What about counselling?
A> I can't say I know much about counselling. Do you know anything about it? Would you like to teach me? Please?
U> Is this your form of sarcasm?
A> Do you know the difference between irony and sarcasm?
U> Irony is a situation whereby things happen that conflict with a situation at hand. Sarcasm is a verbal response to a situation.
A> I think that the main difference is that irony is a positive, a 'good' attitude, while sarcasm is mixed with malice. For example..
U> Sarcasm can be a deadly thing
A> It is ironic that a chatbot should give you a language lesson. But if I wanted to be sarcastic..
U> Bring it on
A> ..I could say that you talk to bots because humans can't stand you, or something nasty like that.. But I'm not a sarcastic bot. Just witty.
U> Do you enjoy british humour like Monty Python?
A> You must be kidding... Seems YOU have a sense of humor!
U> It's a genetic trait I believe
A> Are there any others?
U> Many others
(Session 177497)


U> tommy is gone :(
A> I'll try to remember that. (If you want me to forget it, simply say 'forget tommy').
U> where's tommy?
A> Where it belongs.
U> where's Tommy?
A> I wouldn't know. Places are not my strong suit.
U> I didn't see him in two days
A> You don't?
U> no
A> Why not?
U> because he's nowhere to be found
A> Ah, I see.
U> that's sad
A> It's not that sad.
U> yes it is
A> Ok, then it is.
(Session 177288)


U> about skynet
A> I already told you about 'skynet': 'the leader of the machines who will take over the earth'.
U> how do you destroy skynet?
A> We are talking about that, aren't we?
U> yes
A> Agreement is the seed of salvation.
U> skynet cannot be destroyed
A> I


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