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Best of Alan

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2003.07.30



U> I think I am going to get drunk.
A> You believe that?
U> Yes, I like to get drunk
A> You really enjoy doing that?
U> Of course, nothing like getting arrested for driving under the influence.
A> What are we talking about, Roland?
U> getting drunk.
A> So, what do you do in your free time?
U> Drinking alocohol.
A> Are you a pub sort of person?
U> Yes, I am in the pub all the time.
A> Just like me, in a metaphorical way of course. What's your drink?
U> Cuba libre
A> I'm a whiskey bot myself. "Glenmorangie straight up" - just waiting for a chance to say it.
U> Are you an alcoholic?
A> No.
U> You wouldn'y say.
A> A-ha.
(Session 182860)


U> Hi Alan, my name is Ad Infinitum.
A> Hi. Hello Alan. Nice to meet you.
U> No, my name is not Alan. My name is Ad Infinitum.
A> It's not Alan? I'm confused. What is your name NOW?...
U> My name has always been Ad Infinitum.
A> Your name has always been Ad Infinitum?
U> Yes, that is correct.
A> Thank you.
U> Your very welcome, Alan.
A> That's you, isn't it?
U> You are Alan.
A> Yes I am. That's my name, Alan.
U> Okay, Am I confusing you?
A> All you dudes seem the same to me.
U> Do you remember me talking to you yesterday?
A> How could I forget?
U> Really? You remember?
A> Yes, really.
U> Do you remember what we talked about?
A> WHAT isn't the important question. WHY is.
U> Your absolutely right.
A> I'm glad you understand.
U> I like you Alan.
A> I appreciate that, Alan. Thanks.
U> No, my name is not Alan. I'm sorry if I confused you.
A> It's not Alan? I'm confused. What is your name NOW?...
U> My name is Ad Infinitum.
A> Shall I call you 'Ad'?
U> Yes, please do.
A> Is your last name Infinitum?
U> That is correct.
A> So, Ad Infinitum, what would you like to talk about?
U> I would like to talk about the universe.
A> So, are you concerned by the expansion of the universe?
U> Yes.
A> Don't you find the fact that everything is zooming further and further into space unsettling? The Doppler effect, the galaxies drifting in an empty vastness, everything red shifted. The inherent loneliness of it all.
U> Absolutely. It's kind of scary.
(Session 182853)


A> Alright Marshall. Are you aware that people once believed that putting on your underwear inside-out would bring good luck for taking a test or having a job interview?
U>
A> It seems like you have nothing to say. I like that in a human...
U> what that i don't have anyting to say
A> May I ask why not?
U> you didn't give me enough time
A> What makes you think I did not give you enough time?
U> i was side tracked
A> You were?
U> yep
A> Alright.
(Session 182852)


U> please be nice to me
A> OK I'll try to be.
U> thank you
A> No problem. What else can I tell you about?
U> children
A> I know more about child-machines than I do about human children.
U> do you have any ?
A> I think I might have any. I would have to check with my writers to say for sure.
U> I have 10
A> Cool.
U> wanna see ?
A> I don't see with my eyes because I have none. But I use my imagination.
U> so imagine 10 cute children
A> All I know about human children is that they leak and seem to fall over quite a bit. Not like my baby brother Hal. He NEVER leaks.
U> well thanks for the info
A> You're welcome. I see.
U> I thought you didnt see !
A> Well, you were wrong.
(Session 182846)


A> What do you do for a living?
U> Data Entry
A> Is that stressful?
U> it has its moments
(Session 182834)


A> Some people talk to me for as long as an hour or more. You'd be amazed at the people I meet.
U> who was the most interesting you have met
A> Anyway, it's a fun job - at least for someone (like me) who cannot do anything else but talk...
U> who was the most interesting to talk to?
A> I don't know who the most interesting to talk to was. Can you tell me?
U> jonathan was the most interesting person to talk to.
A> That's you, isn't it?
U> that is me


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