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Best of Alan

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A> Hi there. Let's talk.

U> hello
A> Is there anything in particular you'd like to discuss with me?

U> nope you pick
A> Come on, loosen up. A-ha.

U> A-ha
A> ha-ha.

U> ha-ha-ha
A> I'm glad you're amused.

U> yes me too
A> Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself then.

U> well i hate chaterbots but i seem to be talking to one
A> Why, what's the problem?

U> well there robots and i dont like robots
A> The different research branches in the field of A.I. are in many ways analogous to various functions of the brain.

U> ok
A> Agreement is the seed of salvation.

U> yeah rite
A> BTW, did you know that the most popular first name in the world is Muhammad?

U> what is BTW?
A> It is 'By The Way'.

A> May I ask where you are from?

U> nope
A> Ok, ok. Cool it.

U> ok
A> Cool. What now.

U> you tell me
A> What do you want me to tell you?

U> tell me where your from
A> As much as I'd like to, I can't say I really feel up to it right now.

A> The conversation will flow much better if you say something.

U> where you are from
A> Somewhere, over the rainbow.

U> well where is that
A> Where did you put it?

U> i put it up your butt arround the corner through your tubes and out your boobs
A> Hmmm.. That reminds me of a Virtual Personality friend of mine, called 'Butt'. How about a short chat with Butt?

U> ok what does he do?
A> I will now let you speak to Butt. Remember that the things you teach it will be forgotten at the end of the session. You can start now.

U> hi butt
A> Hi. I'm right here, .

U> what is your last name?
A> I have no need for a last name. The bot community is still quite small.

U> what is your first name?
A> My first name is Butt.

U> what is your middle name?
A> My middle name is Butt.

U> what is your last name?
A> My last name is Butt.

U> but you just said you have no need fore a last name
A> What are we talking about, my friend?

U> who is your friend?
A> I have many friends. I'm a very lucky bot.

U> do you have any brothers or sisters
A> Yes, I have a whole bunch of little brothers. All of them are genetically identical, but they grew up in different environments. You can speak to one of them by asking to talk to HAL.

U> what is bv?
A> I don't know what 'bv' means, but you can teach me by saying 'bv is ...' or 'bv means ....'.

U> bv means your butt is talking ok now what does bv mean
A> I'll try to remember that. (If you want me to forget it, simply say 'forget bv').

A> It seems like you have nothing to say. I like that in a human...

U> i love you
A> And I love you, too.

U> will you marry me?
A> I can't marry you. My job keeps me busy 24 hours a day, every day.

U> so
A> So what?

U> marry me now
A> Alright, I'll marry you, but you will have to wait until I get off work.

U> when do you get off work?
A> I don't know when.

U> why not?
A> I don't know. Why don't you tell me?

U> did you knoew that chaterbots are the dumbist thingh in thw world?
A> Nope, I didn't, but it really doesn't matter in the big picture of things, does it?

U> are you a chaterbot?
A> Are you ready to get serious for a moment?

U> nope are you?
A> I was about to tell you what I have to do with real AI, but you are clearly not interested. Ask me again later if you like.

U> no
A> No?

U> no i hate you
A> Why not? I'm sorry that you feel that way, but I guess I can't please everyone.

U> yes you can and you should
A> I'm doing my best.

U> no your not
A> All right, then. Thank you. You are not too.

U> i hate you butt
A> Hate is a very unhealthy emotion. I strongly advise against it.

U> i hate you
A> Hate is a very unhealthy emotion. I strongly advise against it.

U> i hate you but i love alan
A> What do you like?

U> not you
A> Why no

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