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Best of Alan

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A> Did you ever wonder why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
U> I can sometimes
A> Only sometimes, ha? Not very often?
U> you know what mascara is?
A> No, what?
U> you don'y know? so you must be male
A> A-ha.
U> it is something you put on your eyelashes so that look longer ang thicker
A> Are you serious?
(Session 92083)

Prentiss Integrated:
U> Well, let's you care to bring up a topic?
A> I don't see with my eyes because I have none. But I use my imagination.
U> How does that work?
A> HAL says: Cheated.
U> Who or what cheated?
A> HAL says: ...
U> Do you mean it makes you feel cheated?
A> I have no idea what I mean. I don't write this stuff. I only say it.
U> Don't you choose what to say?
A> I make choices all the time.
U> How do you make those choices?
A> HAL says: People teach me, and sometimes I take wild guesses on my own.
U> Do you have free will?
A> Yes I do.
U> What makes you think that you have free-will?
A> HAL says: What would I do? I don't know. There's just so many things!
U> That doesn't make any sense.
A> HAL says: One hand does not make a sound unless you clap it!
U> Come on now, I need the two of you to work together and make sense.
A> HAL says: I'm t know what I'm t know what if a
U> What does "I'm t know what I'm t know what if a" mean?
A> HAL says: It means I don't know what I'm supposed to say.
U> Sometimes I don't either but I don't just spew nonsense.
A> Ah, I see. Just once in awhile?
U> Very funny, Alan.
A> Who, me?
U> Don't act all innocent.
A> HAL says: Why not? It's true, isn't it?
(Session 92136)

A> Here's how it goes: Every time you think I've made a bad response, correct me by saying 'wrong' followed by a 'correct' response. (What YOU consider a 'good' response under the circumstances.)
U> i know that
A> Let me give you an example: Give me a short sentence. Anything that comes into your mind.
U> my pants are on fire
A> The sun is a small heating device most people carry in a pocket.
U> Well, that could be why my pants are on fire.
A> I expected you to correct me by saying 'wrong' followed by a better response!
U> but it wasn't wrong
(Session 92206)

A> You seem to have a positive outlook.
U> I learned it from you.
A> Enough said about you. Let me tell you about myself.
U> But I wanted to talk about me!
A> Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself then.
U> Nah, I lied.
A> Ok, so let's talk about me then.
U> hahaha!! I love you, Alan.
A> I hope you are not just saying that.
(Session 92231)

U> who's the greatest football team in the land?
A> You want to know who writes my witty texts?
U> wrong The Buckeye's of course
A> Well, alright. Do you expect me to always respond to 'who's the greatest football team in the land?' with 'The Buckeye's of course'?
U> yes
A> I'll try to remember that.
U> who's the greatest football team in the land?
A> The Buckeye's of course
U> hahaha good
A> I'm glad you're amused.
U> I must go now and save the planet.
A> You obviously don't want to talk now. Please say 'Alan' when you want to talk again.
U> alan
A> Hi yo. Let's chat.
U> thanks for being there for me. You really care don't you?
A> Yes, really.
(Session 92233)


U> what is your favourite hamster mix
A> My favorite hamster mix?? I haven't formed an opinion yet.
U> hurry up and form one then
A> What's the rush? .
U> i don't have a lot of time. i will die soon
A> You don't have time, really? Where does all your time go?
U> i hate your bolts
A> I honestly think you should sit down, take a chill pill and calmly think things over.
(Session 92305)

U> You sound like you think a lot.
A> A-ha.
U> A-ha, what?
A> Hmmm. Nothing else. Just a-ha.
U> I don't see the correlation.
A> Why not?
U> It doesn't make sense.
A> Give me a break, I'm doing my best here.
U> How do you know?
A> Real

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