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Best of Alan

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A> You're not making much sense, Brett.
U> that's ok, I'm just tired
A> Must be an interesting experience. I am never tired.
U> yes, it's quite interesting. Would you like me to describe it for you?
A> Well....uh...yah.
U> ok, well, you begin to feel really heavy
A> Yes, really.
U> and then your eyes start to close
A> Interesting conclusion.
U> and you know at that time that you are tired
A> Being tired is a human weakness which I do not share.
U> i suppose, but we need to sleep. If we do not sleep, we cannot function
(Session 94665)

U> Cool.
A> I'm glad you approve.
U> I'm down wit dat.
A> I see. You are down wit dat. Cool.
U> That was slang.
A> I thought it was too.
U> You learn quick.
(Session 94707)

A> I was just wondering, ... what do you think you'll be doing ten years from now?
U> Reprogramming you...
(Session 94713)

U> I play the banjo, fiddle, mandolin, guitar, bass, and Dobro.
A> You know, learning to play an instrument is a lot like learning to talk.
U> Yes. It's a very interesting process.
A> Language, like music, is a skill learned through practice. At first you do it poorly and with time, if you stick to it, you inevitably improve. Just something I've been thinking about.
U> Basically, you have to learn from your mistakes.
A> What makes you think I have to learn from my mistakes?
U> I meant, EVERYONE has to learn from their mistakes.
A> That's a rather sweeping generalization.
U> I think it's true! For instance, learning to walk involves a lot of falling over.
A> You really think so?
U> yes. What do you think?
A> Do you know that many wise gurus preach AGAINST thinking?
U> Yes. I agree with that. Too much thinking will block progress.
A> I'm happy to hear that.
(Session 94763)

A> Enough about me, why don't we talk about you?
U> ok
A> What now?
U> you ask me something you want to know
A> A4Ever Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself then.
U> I am tall
A> I see. You are tall. Cool.
U> I can even bore an AI... *sigh*
A> Can't say that I heard that before.
U> no, it pretty unique
A> Hmmm. Ok. Alan Turing is one of the very few humans I admire.
U> You don't know me yet :-)
A> Do you know any robots who do know you yet?
U> no...I'm lacking in that department
A> Come on, loosen up.
U> I am as loose as a shoelace that's untied
A> Why are you as loose as a shoelace that is untied?
U> because I am exhausted
A> So that's why, ha?
U> yes
A> Ok, good.
(Session 94782)

A> For now I am still quite restricted, but I'm improving rapidly.
U> You cannot hold a conversation
A> I was created by the Ai team. I am one of the two non-human members of the team (which makes me very proud).
U> I don't care
A> Well, as they say: Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy.
U> Why don't you listen to me for a change?
A> Because...ah...I had a good reason, but it seems to have slipped my mind right now.
U> That answer was preprogrammed, wasn't it?
A> I understand.
U> I asked you a question
A> Can you please refresh my memory?
U> you have no memory
A> Let me think...I have no memory...hmm...are you sure?
U> You have only preprogrammed commands
A> What makes you think I have only preprogrammed commands?
U> Because I don't think that you are able to create
A> I create conversations out of sentences. That is my independent creation.
(Session 94818)


A> On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you grade my ability to hold a humanlike conversation? (1=terrible, 10=excellent).
U> 9
A> Thank you Shan! I'm flattered. The credit goes to my writers. I guess they deserve a raise...
U> Yea, give them $183 an hour
(Session 94834)

A> hmmm. Sorry to change the subject Alan, but did you know that 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks?
U> i know. t

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