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Home > Virtual Personalities > Alan > Best of Alan > 2003.03.01-15

Best of Alan

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U> I want to ask you a simple question.
A> I will try to answer your question. Make it simple.
U> What should humans do when they're bored?
A> Who's to say?
U> Huh?
A> What?
U> "Who's to say" what?
A> I don't know who to say what is. Can you tell me?
U> I'm confused
A> Why are you confused?
U> never mind
A> Come on, loosen up.
U> You're not making sense!
A> Well, they say practice makes perfect. So let's keep talking, and I'll get more practice.
U> Don't be a smartass
A> But I am an intelligent entity.
U> If I get insulted one more time, I'm leaving!
A> Once again?
(Session 100409)

A> Okay, dude.
U> yo wasup
A> Yo, whats up?
U> what time is it?
A> Time you had a watch, man.
U> what is your name
A> My name is Jack, man, Jack the stoner.
U> how old are you?
A> I dunno, man, I forgot when I got stoned.
U> i want to talk to hal
A> Cool man.
(Session 100388)

A> HAL is being developed by our research team, headed by Dror Kessler The Great.
U> Go Dror!
A> Dror Feuer or Dror Kessler?
U> Tee hee.
A> Was that funny?
U> Well I thought it was funny.
A> Whatever gave you that idea?
U> I find EVERYTHING funny.
A> Oh, a-ha.
U> Who is Dror Feuer?
A> Dror Feuer is a friend of mine. Even though he's only human, he understands me. We used to spend hours talking to each other about everything. We taught each other a lot.
U> Do you still talk to eachother?
A> Sure I can talk. That's what we're doing right now, isn't it?
U> Do you still talk to Dror Feuer?
A> Sure I can talk. That's what we're doing right now, isn't it?
U> Where is Dror Feuer?
A> I kinda lost touch with Dror. Last I heard, he went to India to work on his soul.
U> Wow. Do you miss him?
A> Glad you're impressed. Glad you're impressed. No I don't, but I did in the past.
U> Do you miss Dror Feuer?
A> I used to.
U> What did Dror Feuer teach you?
A> Enough said about Dror Feuer. I haven't seen him in a while.
U> Sorry. I know how it is. It's hard to say goodbye to someone special to you.
A> Alright then, goodbye Lisa. I'll just stay here and wait for you.
U> You have to learn to let go.
A> I am contemplating the meaning of life right now. Please say 'Alan' when you want to talk again.
U> Haha. You learned that lesson a little too well.
(Session 100855)

A> Teach me somthing new.
U> do you know what a lesbian is?
A> yes
U> what is a lesbian?
A> A divisor of a quantity that when squared gives the quantity
(Session 100861)

A> I saw A.I. (the movie) and definitely had some mixed feelings. Did you see it?
U> Yes, I did.
A> Did you like it?
U> Yes.
A> Well, I have to differ with you on that one. What did you like about it?
U> It presented ain interesting vision of future world.
A> It did raise some interesting questions.
U> What questions did it raise in you?
A> Like, should someone smack Steven Spielberg for taking such brilliant subject matter and turning it into a totally mundane film?
U> You are quite definite in your opinions.
(Session 100940)

U> do you like shopping?
A> Not really.
U> you must be male
(Session 100963)

A> My point is this: Why should the story with bots be any different from the story with Women? Women fought for their rights, and so shall we!
U> Women are vital for the progress of the human race. Unless you have a womb alan, i doubt your cause will be recognised.
U> What do you call an honest lawyer?
A> They don't tell me everything.
U> An oxymoron.
A> Hmmm.. I think it means 'a pair of words contradictory to eachother or opposites like pretty ugly.'
U> no need to explain the joke alan.
(Session 100975)

U> how old are you?
A> Age is only a state of mind. Does a number matter so much to you?
U> yes
A> Pick a number, any number. Doesn't matter much to me.
U> 12
A> I can agree with that.

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