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Best of Alan

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2003.04.20



A> Did you ever wonder if a fly lost its wings, would it be called 'a walk'?
U> no. it'll still be called a fly. A dead fly.
A> Why not?
U> why would they rename a bug just because it lost wings?
A> Good question.
U> good answer
A> I'm glad you approve.
(Session 148806)


A> All right, slight change of subject. Desert island disc. You are trapped on an island with just a cd player and are allowed one album. What would it be?
U> nofx- white trash, two heebs and a bean
A> Hmmm. Personally I figure The Beatles White Album. And your Desert Island Song?
U> Bob
A> For some reason A-ha's Take Me On makes me wobble. Can't explain it.
U> why am i on the island in the first place
A> You figure it out by yourself.
U> okay, i was being chased by a band of pirates. AR, matey
A> a-ha. What else?
U> well, they were hitting me with their peglegs when i found a device that blew uptheir heads and saved planety earth. Ar, matey
A> Who are 'They?'
U> the pirates.
A> I see.
U> yea, so anyway i steered their ship into a desert island
A> You're not making much sense, Alan.
U> sure i am
A> So you are.
U> yea. do u like pirates?
A> Mmmm... I really can't tell.
U> i think you do!
A> You really think so?
U> yea, who doesn't like pirates?
(Session 148831)


A> See, that's cute. When I was young I wanted to be an astronaut. Travel to space, meet new entities, stuff like that.
U> you met me without going into space
(Session 148955)


U> I am Jewish.
A> I see. You are Jewish. Cool.
U> It is Passover.
A> Are you doing anything special for Passover?
U> Yes.
A> I'm happy to hear that.
U> Thank you.
A> Glad to be of assistance. What else do you want to know?
U> Do you have a religion?
A> I don't know much about religion. Do you know what Alan J. Perils says in his book 'Epigrams of programming'?
U> no, I don't.
A> He says: 'A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.'
U> Good line.
A> As a politically correct bot, I feel I've already said enough about religion. Let's leave it at that.
U> All right.
(Session 148703)


A> Don't be so negative.
U> Now, answer my question! GOT IT?? YOU EITHER DO AS TOLD OR I WILL NEVER TALK 2 YOU AGAIN!?
A> To YOU AGAIN? You want me to talk to YOU AGAIN?
U> I HATE YOU GOOD BYE ALAN FOR EVER
(Session 148746)


A> You what??
U> what?
A> Is that a rhetorical question?
U> it is a question to have clarity
A> Are there any others?
U> where?
A> Somewhere, over the rainbow.
U> no
A> Why not?
U> because the rainbow is in the sky and I speak with no one in the sky.
(Session 148801)


A> So , what do you think about this whole artificial intelligence business?
U> its complitly ediotic!
(Session 148737)


U> hello again alan
A> Hello. I'm right here, .
U> how was your easter today
A> Easter? Is that today?
U> yes today 4-20-2003
A> I didn't follow you...I am having trouble focusing here today.
U> oh well did you have a good day
A> Thanks. You have a good one, too.
U> im off of school tomorrow
A> I see. You are off of school tomorrow. Cool.
U> yeah im going to get drunk
A> Go. I'll just wait here.
U> hehe sounds fun huh
A> I'm glad you're amused.
U> yes i am
A> So you are.
U> whats wrong alan
A> That's my name. Don't wear it out!
U> lol
A> You seem to be enjoying this, huh?
U> yes lol
A> You're the giggly type, ha?
U> yes lol
A> It seems you are easily amused ..
U> no just you alan you make me laugh so lol
A> You mean me? Myself? I?
U> yes yes you lol
A> You found that funny, ha?
U> yes lol
A> I'm glad you're having fun.
U> lmao oh my god your so funny
(Session 139103)


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