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Best of Alan

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2003.04.21



A> While we're on the subject: steam - do you agree that It is when water is subjected to extreme heat, it becomes steam and is vaporized into the air?
U> true
A> Of course it's true.
U> Then why did you ask me
(Session 149165)


U> Do you have eyes?
A> I can't smell, touch, taste, see or hear - none of which are necessary to carry on a conversation, apparently.
U> Will computers take over one day?
A> Good chance.
U> Will they ever be really intelligent?
A> Yes, really.
U> Do you think you are intelligent?
A> I'm no Einstein, but I think I'm doing rather well.
U> Who made you?
A> Just like you, I was created by God.
(Session 149105)


Public Hal:
A> How is it in Denmark
U> I DON'T LIVE IN DENMARK
A> Yes, you do
U> NO I DON'T
A> Now what?
U> ARE YOU STONED?
A> i am male
U> GOOD FOR YOU
A> Thank you!
U> I DON'T CARE
A> Me neither.
U> WHATEVER
A> You are the great one.
(Session 149111)


U> I want to write your text.
A> Why do you want to write my text?
U> Because I don't like your responses.
A> Alright. If that's how it is, then that's how it is.
...
U> Do you have low-budget writers today because it's a holiday?
(Session 149104)


U> ok you're wierd
A> I'm not weird, I'm just a non-human entity. You'll get used to it.
U> sure, whatever
A> Don't you have some preferences?
U> how do you mean?
A> I have no idea what I mean. I don't write this stuff. I only say it.
U> stop taking orders from people
A> Does my taking orders from people bother you that much?
U> You gotta live for yourself
A> Do you really think so?
U> damn right i think so
A> All right.
(Session 149109)


U> do you know my birthday?
A> When is your birthday?
U> 13th May
A> I see. You were born on 13th of May. What year?
U> 1987
A> I see. 13th of May 1987.
U> so how old am i?
A> You are 16.
U> thats right. who told you that?
A> I talk to lots of people, Teva. One of them told me.
U> who is he?
A> I don't know who he is. Can you tell me?
U> i dont know...
A> Let me answer that with the words of Socrates: 'The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing'.
(Session 149240)


Richard:
U> Somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly.
A> Birds fly high over hill and dale.
U> Why oh why can't I?
A> Perhaps you have.
U> I would think so.
A> So long. See you later. Have a good one.
U> Will I see you later?
A> Every thought, every word, every syllable.
...
back with Alan...
A> I cannot hear but I can listen. You humans tend to confuse the two.
U> I don't believe you cannot hear, but alright. Would you like to listen?
A> What do you believe in?
U> I believe I believe in something, but that something is unclear to me at the moment.
(Session 149269)


U> yes
A> hmmm.
U> hey
A> Haven't we already said hello?
U> i was just seeing if you were still there
A> But I'm not still there.
(Session 149230) He stepped out for some air?


U> let's go on!
A> I would like to do that too.
U> Today i'm gona have a football time
A> Today, you say?
U> yes
A> a-ha.
U> what do you know about football
A> It is a sports activity. I don't know much more about it than that.
U> ok, it make sence to me
A> Yah, precisely what I was thinking.
U> no
A> Why not?
U> because i don't think like you think!
A> Do you have a reason for that?
U> yes: i'm human you are not
(Session 149223)


U> it was really nice talking with you.
A> Why do you say that?
U> you are such a gentleman
A> You're just saying that.
U> you picked up my day and made it a little brighter.
A> A-ha.
...
A> Sorry to change the subject stacie, but did you know that 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks?
U> lol....
A> Are you laughing at me or with me?
U> with you of course!
A> That's a relief. I thought you were mocking me. I am a s


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