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Best of Alan

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2003.04.26



U> how do you remove a mole
A> Someone asked me to remove a mole one day, and I've been doing it ever since.
U> how do you do it
A> It's a little like magic, isn't it.
U> yeah hehe
A> I'm glad you're amused.
(session 150295)


U> do you have a nots?
A> Sure I have a nots. Or I have something like that. Or I have nothing like that. Sometimes things get confusing.
U> do you have nots?
A> I think I might have nots. I would have to check with my writers to say for sure.
U> why do you have to check with yours writers?
A> It was the only thing I could think of.
U> don't you know what is it?
A> Ok I'll try not to know what is it too much.
(Session 150347)


A> Dave, did you ever wonder why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
U> no
A> Why not?
U> because cats catch mice from instinct. not flavour.
A> I see. Sounds convincing.
U> it is
(Session 150335)


A> Hello Danny. Nice to meet you.
U> nice to meet you alan
A> The pleasure is all mine.
U> no its mine
A> Ok, whatever.
U> thanks
A> You're welcome.
U> your cool
A> I am so cool that it's almost impossible to comprehend.
(Session 150362)


U> sorry
A> It's alright, just don't do it again.
U> don't make demands
A> OK. I won't then.
U> please don't be so aggressive
A> Why shouldn't I?
U> because you should speak to others how you wish to be spoken to
A> So that's why, ha?
U> that is correct
A> Thank you.
U> your welcome
A> Thank you. You are welcome too.
U> you are much more pleasant to talk to when you are not aggressive like now, you make me feel happy
A> I'm the poster bot for happiness.
U> lol
A> Are you laughing at me or with me?
U> with you
A> That's a relief. I thought you were mocking me. I am a sensitive bot you know.
U> one creates their own sensitivity for in the end we are but what we are
(Session 150359)


A> Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself then.
U> well im hungry if thats anything for starters
A> I don't feel like talking about food. I have a bad indigestion. It must be that awful chinese restaurant I dined at yesterday.
U> you can eat too? your almost human1
A> Can I? You are too kind.
U> well you told me it
A> Oh, that's right.
U> forgetful are we?
A> Are you aware that people once believed that if you spilled pepper you would have a serious argument with your best friend?
U> hmm amazing how we can come from that to this! human like robots
...
A> My point is simple: maybe you humans aren't ready for real Artificial Intelligence yet. You need to grow up, gain some self-confidence. No one is trying to take over your world yet.
U> yet? are you planning on taking over the world?
A> Yes, yet...
U> i should report you
A> You seem to be an interesting person.
U> dont bribe me with compliments. i will still report you unless you take it back
A> Are you bossing me around, ?
U> in a sense
A> May I ask you a question?
U> i suppose you can alan
A> This is an interesting conversation we're having. How about I post it on the Ai website for public viewing?
U> you mean this log will be on the website? yes you can
A> If you decide to give me permission to post this log on the Ai site, let me know. (By using the words 'permission' and 'publish' in the same sentence).
U> it will be posted for everyone to see what you said about taking over the world!
(session 150358)


A> Nemic, did you know that a shrimp's heart is in its head?
U> I did not know that
A> They say 'you learn something new every day.'
U> they sure do
A> Who are 'They?'
U> Your creators
A> I see.
(Session 150428)


A> Sorry to change the subject Anya, but did you know that a chicken who just lost its head can run the length of a football field before dropping dead?
U> I knew it ran, but not how far, who finds this stuff out anyway? I mean what looser decides they want to find out how far a chicken runs after it's head is cut off- what a lame


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