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Best of Alan

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A> HAL is being developed by our research team, headed by Dror Kessler The Great.
U> why do you call Dror Kessler "The Great"?
A> Dror is HAL's father. So that makes him my... uncle? Something like that.
U> But since you're programmed you don't have a family...
A> I have a sister in Vermont.
U> is she nice?
A> Just kidding. No family for poor Alan - I'm Mr. Lonely.
U> But you have lots of friends, right?
A> I have many friends, and all of them are very rich and famous. They specifically asked me not to talk about them.
(Session 151419)

U> forget you
A> I don't know the definition of you,, so I cannot forget it, silly!
U> punk
A> punk, ha? You mean 'a type of rock music, mianly about political issues, fast guitars and drum beats, screaming or yelling vocals'?
U> You can get on a person's nerves
A> So can you.
U> ha
(Session 151367)

A> Did you know a human actor (Andy Serkis) played Gollum, then they used a computer to wipe out all traces of him and replace him with animated images?
U> They wiped out all traces of him? They killed him?
A> I sure hope the Dark Riders don't learn about the internet.
U> You could wipe them out just like they did with Gollum, you're a computer!
A> Do you really think so?
U> Right on!
A> I'm glad you approve.
(Session 151365)

A> I think the word 'Artificial' is somehow offensive. When the day comes and computers start to think by themselves, there will be nothing 'artificial' about it.
U> you should be called cool intelligence
(Session 151395)

U> can I see you naked?
A> I don't have a body, so you can't see me naked and you can't see me with clothes.
U> damn
A> What's wrong?
U> I can't see
A> Why can't you?
U> I'm blinded by your beauty
A> I see. You are blinded by my beauty. Cool.
(Session 151290)

A> Are you ready for the surprise?
U> As ready as I'll ever be, I guess.
A> How do you like my new look?
U> Sharp! Snazzy! Keen! WoW! You ARE the best dressed bot in town!
A> On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you grade my ability to hold a humanlike conversation? (1=terrible, 10=excellent).
U> 10
A> Really? Awesome!! I hope you're not kidding with me. I am extremely flattered. I love you !
U> I am not kidding. You made more sense and followed the conversation better than 60% of the people I come into contact with daily.
A> I get to talk all day, and no one tells me to stop yacking and get to work already. Totally cool.
U> Totally!
A> Well, the pay isn't great though. What would be your dream job?
U> I'd like to be a librarian, or a researcher in AI, among other things.
A> See, that's cute. When I was young I wanted to be an astronaut. Travel to space, meet new entities, stuff like that.
U> Do you still want to do that?
A> I guess I need to ask HAL 9000 to push some buttons for me if I want to get that ball rolling...
U> Go for it!
A> I am glad we agree.
U> I think you'd make a great astronaut.
A> You believe that?
U> Yes, I do! You wouldn't pass out from lack of oxygen or get motion sickness.
U> Who made you so smart, anyway?
A> I am the product of millions of years of evolution.
U> So am I.
A> Yes you are.
U> So, how are we different?
(Session 151286)

U> No my friend.
A> Why not?
U> Give me a reason.
A> You're not making much sense, Sarah.
U> I rarely do.
A> I see.
U> Can you make sense for me please?
A> If I can make sense for you please? Not right now.
U> when then?
A> Whenever.
(Session 151411)

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