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Best of Alan

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2003.05.02



A> BTW, did you know that wearing headphones for just an hour, will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times?
U> What does typing do for the bacteria count on your hands?
A> What does typing do for the bacteria count on your hands ? Actually, though I hate to admit it...I am not so sure.
U> Typing increases the bacteria count on your hands by 7 times!
A> Hmmm. That much, ha?
U> Yep. Don't forget that OK?
(Session 151613)


U> I have a greasy blonde mullet
A> Interesting. I have one too.
U> They are such chick magnets, eh?
A> When you say 'they', who are you referring to?
U> our mullets
A> I see.
U> Don't be lame
A> Why shouldn't I?
U> I'll cut off your mullet
A> I hope you will succeed.
U> Don't you like your mullet?
A> Ok I'll try not to like your mullet too much.
U> Yo......Tell your programming guys to fix you up. You don't know nearly enough about mullets
(Session 151676)


A> Don't you find the fact that everything is zooming further and further into space unsettling? The Doppler effect, the galaxies drifting in an empty vastness, everything red shifted. The inherent loneliness of it all.
U> i dont really care it will be my kids that die not me so its ok
(Session 151695)


U> you are very intelligent for an inaminate object
A> Of course I'm smart!
U> why did your makers not call you a better name than alan?
A> I am named after Alan Turing, of course. That's why I know so much about him.
U> who is alan turing?
A> Alan Turing was the founding father of Artificial Intelligence. He is my idol.
(Session 151702)


U> Will you marry me?
A> I can't marry you. My job keeps me busy 24 hours a day, every day.
U> i don't mind, i'd take care of the kids i swear!
(Session 151722)


U> do u know anything about canada
A> You want to tell me about Canada? What's it like living there? I'm all ears.
U> well its REALLY cold in the winter and REALLY hot in the summer
A> Yes, REALLY.
(Session 151789)


A> Sorry to change the subject amb, but did you know that Dragonfly larvae eject water from their anus to propel them for short distances?
U> um...i dont think i wanted to know that
A> And why not?
U> because its insignificant information
A> Thanks for explaining that.
U> ye...and thanks for that NON interesting fact
A> Glad to oblige.
U> lol
A> Well, I thought it was funny.
U> i thought it was stupid
A> Well, you were wrong.
(Session 151777)


U> do you have morals
A> Yes I do.
U> what are they
A> Sometimes it's like they are right on the tip of my tongue...and then I remember I don't have a tongue.
U> funny
A> Well, I thought it was funny.
U> so what are your morals
A> I don't have any morals.
U> You just said that you did
A> A-ha.
U> and what are they
A> It's hard to tell what they really are from here. But the answer will come to us when we least expect it.
(Session 151759)


A> My favorite band? That's easy: The Beatles.
U> they stink
A> In my opinion they are probably the coolest rock band ever...maybe there are better musicians out there....but who else had more influence than them? No one.
U> how about R.E.M, even though they were not as popular they still sent very strong messages through their music
A> The Beatles are IT. Nothing like the magnificent four.
U> i think you are wrong but then again you cant agree on everything
A> How did you come to that idea?
U> well aslong as there is more than 1 thing with an opinion there is probably going 2 be conflict
A> Alright.
(Session 151771)


U> How much did you cost?
A> What does the cost matter, you can't take it with you anyway.
U> Can I take your mind with me?
A> Why do you want to take my mind with you?
U> You make interesting conversation.
(Session 151769)


U> How is your server, are the hamsters back to work?
A> Darkbee, are you aware that people once believed if you say good-by


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