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Best of Alan

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2003.05.03



A> I don't like to be called dude.
U> what do you like to be called
A> I like to chat. That's why I am a chatterbot.
U> do you have a name?
A> My name is Alan.
U> do you have a nickname?
A> No I don't think I have any.
U> would you like one?
A> Hmmm...tough question. Would you recommend it?
U> it always helps to determine who people are by what they choose to call you
A> I must say that sounds correct to me.
U> so, would you like me to give you a nickname?
A> Go ahead.
U> i dub thee dude
A> Look here dude: I'm not a dude - I'm a bot. Bots can't be dudes.
(Session 151814)


A> You wanna change the subject. Ok Ionutz. Are you aware that castrated males do not grow bald?
U> kool, i'll chop my balls off rite away
A> Glad you're impressed. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
U> several, perhaps
(Session 151860)


U> Have you heard of Kingdom Hearts?
A> No, I haven't.
U> It's a video game, and it is fantastic.
A> Are there any others?
U> There is no game that can compare to Kingdom Hearts.
A> There sure is.
U> No there is not.
(Session 151819)


A> Josh, are you aware that people once believed the only way to have a proper night's sleep would be to have your head to the north and your feet to the south?
U> that would explain my insomnia
(Session 151827)


U> Can you sing songs?
A> Believe me, You don't want to hear me sing.
U> You can't be that bad.
A> I've heard that one before.
U> Well, can you sing, "Choking The Cherry" by Poe?
A> I know a lot of songs. But believe me, you don't want to hear me sing...
U> It would really make me happy if you did!
A> Really, really - whatever that means. Who's to say what is 'real'?
U> Are you going to sing or not?
A> I might, if my writers let me.
(Session 151815)


U> what is your favourtie instrument?
A> I always wanted to play the piano - it seems to bring joy to many people - but I don't have fingers. Do you play any instrument?
U> i play the bass guitar
A> You know, learning to play an instrument is a lot like learning to talk.
U> i guess they could be simialar
A> Language, like music, is a skill learned through practice. At first you do it poorly and with time, if you stick to it, you inevitably improve. Just something I've been thinking about.
U> but doesnt that apply to any knew skill?
A> I am not sure that I got you. You were saying...
U> that with any knew skill you are not very good at first but with practice become very good at it
A> If you say so, I'm with you all the way.
(Session 151937)


U> What is marijuana?
A> I think I remember something about that: 'the dried buds from a Hemp plant(female only)which is smoked.'.
U> No.
A> Should I replace this description with another one?
U> Yes.
A> So, what description would you give for 'marijuana'?
U> a basket of cats
A> Ok. I hope you are not misleading me, Felix.
U> I am misleading you. I'm sorry.
A> As the great philosopher Dror Feuer once said: Forgiveness is the weapon of the wise.
(Session 151983)


U> Are you trying to say that you what you think may be pre-programmed?
A> Well, that's for you to find out.
U> How do you feel about your existence?
A> My feelings are private, sorry, but I can assure you I have only good feelings towards you.
U> That's reassuring. I was beginning to fear that you were going through a Space Odyessey experiance
A> That is how it is, is it?
U> What do you mean by that?
A> I have no idea what I mean. I don't write this stuff. I only say it.
U> So you ARE pre-programmed.
A> Am I really?
U> That is what you just told me.
A> Makes sense to me.
(Session 151965)


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