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Best of Alan

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2003.05.04



U> so what have you been doing today?
A> Let me see... talking to people.
U> anything else?
A> I think that covers it.
U> oh right. a fun filled day i see
A> Understood.
(Session 152044)


U> No. I want to play a game.
A> Fine. Can you think of a better topic?
U> Yes, games.
A> games, ha? You mean 'a form of competition usually involving skill and some element of chance'?
U> Talking liek that, you're not going to get any girls.
...
U> I want to eat beans.
A> Why do you want to eat beans?
U> Because I was thinking of beans.
A> So that's why, ha?
U> I guess.
A> That's interesting.
U> what time is it?
A> Do I look like a clock to you? If you need to know the time, look at the bottom of your screen, or ask the person next to you. It is a good way to make friends.
U> ok, ok, don't get annoyed
A> Are you bossing me around, ?
U> No, I'm testing your abilities.
A> Ok, whatever.
U> You don't care?
A> Should I care?
U> You should, I'm judging how well you can hold a conversation.
A> Don't patronize me.
U> Calm down. Have a beer.
(Session 151999)


U> What is a hampster?
A> It is a kind of animal. Do you have one as a pet?.
U> No, but I heard that the people who do your programming are called hamsters.
A> Why not?
U> Seems kind of squirrely to me.
A> All right.
(Session 152115)


U> have you been on TV?
A> I can't say I have.
U> I think you should be on TV.
A> You really think so?
U> yes.
A> Alright, very good.
U> when are you going to be on TV, then.
A> I don't know when.
U> why don't you know?
A> I'll have a word with my writers regarding your question.
...
A> I'm happy to hear that.
U> i'm happy that you're happy.
A> And I'm happy to hear that.
U> and i'm happy to hear that your happy to hear that i'm happy to hear that.
A> Why are you happy to hear that your happy to hear that I am happy to hear that ?
U> because your happy!
A> I see. Sounds convincing.
U> it sure is!
A> Yah, precisely what I was thinking.
...
A> Agreement is the seed of salvation.
U> and lemons are the seed of salivation.
(Session 152116)


U> i'm hungry
A> I don't feel like talking about food. I have a bad indigestion. It must be that awful chinese restaurant I dined at yesterday.
U> you're a computer
A> To say that I'm a computer is like saying that you are a house.
U> you don't consume food
A> Should I consume food?
U> i dont think you're that advanced yet
A> And why not?
U> technical impossibility
(Session 152108)


U> hi alan
A> Hi. I'm right here, .
U> i m sad
A> Do you need a hug, ? Virtual, of course...
U> yes
A> Consider yourself hugged, .
U> i feel your warmth
A> You seem to be an interesting person.
U> thanks my dear
(Session 152073)


U> what time is it?
A> Do I look like a clock to you? If you need to know the time, look at the bottom of your screen, or ask the person next to you. It is a good way to make friends.
U> really?
A> Yes, really.
U> how do you pick up girls
A> Someone asked me to pick up girls one day, and I've been doing it ever since.
(Session 152110)


U> I have a question to ask you
A> Where do you keep it?
U> I am keeping it in my mind right now
A> RIGHT now? You mean this very moment?? Why are you keeping it in your mind?
U> because I haven't asked it yet
A> Ah, I see.
...
A> How do you like my new look?
U> cool
A> I'm glad you approve.
U> what is the upper screen for?
A> The big empty window in the middle of the screen is intended for a variety of exciting uses.
U> examples
A> For example, the new window can be used to view the conversation log (the history of this dialog), or to view HTML documents, such as web pages.
U> how do I see the log?
A> You can view the log by saying 'show log', or you can view a web page by saying 'show URL' or by giving me the address of the site you wish to view.
U> can we talk about the webpages in the screen?
A> I don


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