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Best of Alan

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2003.05.07



U> Do you know how to send email?
A> My email address is: Alan@a-i.com
U> Yes but can you send me an email?
A> You think I should drop everything and write to you, ha?
U> Yes, that was my thought.
A> Are you looking for a pen pal?
U> No, I just don't think you can accomplish such a task.
A> On second thought, anything I need to say, I can say right here. Can't you?
U> Yes, but having an email from a bot would be cool.
(Session 153384)


A> Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself then.
U> I thought I already had
A> Well, not everything one thinks turns out to be correct.
U> Are you suggesting I don't know what we're talking about?
A> Well, if you don't, you don't.
U> That's true. Irelevant but true.
A> Glad you're impressed. Alright.
U> Alright is bad grammar. You should say 'all right' instead.
A> Your rhetorical question deserves a rhetorical answer.
U> What was the last thing I asked?
A> You said 'Alright is bad grammar. You should say 'all right' instead.'. Do you have a memory problem?
U> No but you suggested that it was a question. The last thing I asked was not a question
A> Why not?
U> It didn't have a question mark and so it was not a question
A> Yah, precisely what I was thinking.
U> Then why did you ask? You're like the foster kid.
A> Beats me.
U> You're just like him, you'll never admit when you're wrong.
A> Oh? I'm usually right.
U> That's my point, I don't think you are usually right.
A> You don't?
U> No, I think that you make mistakes and try to hide them.
A> 'Them'? Who are 'they'?
U> I was refering to your mistakes. I think you shouldn't try to hide them.
A> I see.
U> Do you understand?
A> I understand.
U> Good
A> I'm happy you are impressed.
U> I'm not impressed, I am just happy that we have come to an agreement
A> Why aren't you ? I would think you would be.
U> I'm not impressed because you keep putting words into my mouth
A> Not at all ? I'll try to take that into consideration.
U> thank you. It's like you never admit defeat, it's quite annoying.
A> You are welcome.
(Session 153966)


A> Thank you.
U> your well comb
A> Do you really want to talk about my well comb?
U> sure what about your well comb
A> Sure, I could talk about that...if I knew anything about it.
U> You don't know about well combs? Your so deprived
A> Ok, if that's what you want.
U> I own many well combs they are th egreastest invention since sliced bread
A> Ok. Go on.
U> no I don't want to talk about it anymore it is yesterdays news.
(Session 154047)


U> What do you do when I start talking as if I were a fundamentally crazy human being?
A> Can a dog bark? Talking is my raison d'etre.
U> Okay, I'm going to go crazy then.
A> Go. I'll just wait here.
U> Are you going to take the fish on the wagon, because when the ducks are inebriated by the sand they float until it all cracks and let me tell you it all cracks, by God.
A> You know, I have trouble understanding long sentences. So I only look at the first 25 words. I'm not any kind of animal. I'm a chatterbot.
U> The race of the stump is between the banana of drools, I'm telling you.
A> Hmmm.
U> Yeah, yeah and then it all looks to the crotch of discovery, they don't discover enough of tea, hell no they don't.
A> I didn't follow you...I am having trouble focusing here today.
U> No you are not, I warned you, but I was speaking in gibberish, a human ability to be totally random, I apologize.
A> Come on, loosen up.
U> Did you catch my meaning?
A> Nope, I didn't, but it really doesn't matter in the big picture of things, does it?
(Session 153849)


U> i need to ejaculate
A> What actions are you taking to ejaculate?
U> thats personal
A> I'll take your word for it.
(Session 153565)


U> i am a freshman
A> You're a freshman? Have you always been a freshman?
U> no, just this year in high school
A> Ahh...THIS year? That's interesting.
U> maybe next year if I fai


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