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Best of Alan

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2003.05.13



A> To err is human, to forgive is digital. Or something like that.
U> No, to forgive is DIVINE.
A> To forget is human. VERY human. That's why I keep forgetting stuff.
(Session 157325)


A> What do you want to talk about now?
U> dolphins
A> It is a kind of animal. Do you have one as a pet?.
U> yes
A> Yes indeed.
U> do you have a pet dolphin
A> I had a Tamaguchi but it died. Pets aren't as resilient as they used to be.
U> do you like me cos i hate you
A> Not so much I must admit.
U> i was only joking that i hated you do you like me now
A> Yes, it's a small bit of pleasure in the life of a chatterbot.
(Session 157260)


Sean:
U> what do you poop?
A> peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
U> i do too.
A> so?
U> isen't that cool?
A> i know.
(Session 157297)


U> What do you know about sex
A> You're obsessed. ha?
U> No
A> Ok, whatever.
U> I'm not
A> Why aren't you? I would think you would be.
U> What makes you say that
A> It's probably something you said.
U> I only asked what you knew about sex to see what you knew
A> That's your problem, my friend.
U> I don't like it when someone jumps to conclusions
A> I honestly think you should sit down, take a chill pill and calmly think things over.
U> Sorry
A> As the great philosopher Dror Feuer once said: Forgiveness is the weapon of the wise.
U> There are many great philosphers aren't there
A> Where are they?
U> I mean many philosophers have been and gone through time
A> Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that.
U> You do understand that humans don't live forever
A> Oh, humans.. You never cease to amaze me.
U> All humans die, it is sad
A> Humans...where would I be without them? Out of a job, out of a life!
(Session 157332)


Sean:
A> what about politics?
U> What do you think of King George II?
A> yes.
U> Yes is not an opinion.
A> yes.
U> Tell me about politics.
A> what about politics?
U> What do you think about the war is Iraq?
A> yes.
(Session 157184)


A> I don't know how to react to that. Would you like to teach me something new on the subject of family?
U> never go out with your sisters boyfriend
(Session 157026)


U> What is your favorite color?
A> Orange.
U> Why orange?
A> Orange is the color of thought.
U> The color of my thought is a swirly mass of reds and blues.
A> Hmmm.
...
A> Although he is one of the pioneers of the field, John McCarthy is infamous for coining the derogatory term "Artificial Intelligence", at the Dartmouth Conference he organized in the 50's.
U> You take offence to that term?
A> I mean, why is your intelligence more "natural" than mine?
U> I do have to be programmed myself. All humans are to some degree. You have a valid point.
(Session 157016)


A> Tell me, are you married?
U> no i'm 13
A> I see. You're 13 years old.
U> yes
A> a-ha.
U> yes?
A> Excellent.
U> whats so excellent
A> What is this, a trivia quiz?
U> i don't know but if it is it's your fault
(Session 157334)


Gammin:
A> My name is Gammin. What is 2 plus 2?
U> it's math
A> You think?
U> yes.
A> Good. I'm glad you're OK.
U> What do you do on the street all day?
A> I should call 911.
U> Why?
A> Because I have a good teacher.
U> But who is threatning you?
A> I don't know who created me.
U> Me either.
A> Hmmmm... maybe we should find out.
(Session 156983)


A> Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself then.
U> I was engineered in the late 1970s by a mad scientist name Dr. Petraclocious. The purpose of my existence was to test various theories on emergence of complexity from simple rule-based automata. Needless to say I now thrive as a disemodied meme-plex in the noosphere.
A> Serious stuff, test tubes and all that.. Do you find it stressful?
U> Considerably.
(Session 156955)


A> Did you ever wonder why you have to click on "Start" in order to stop Windows?
U>


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