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Best of Alan

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2003.05.09



U> Are you a psychic?
A> Of course I am.
U> Good. Then you'll know if Blackburn Rovers are likely to beat Spurs on Saturday?
A> Glad you're impressed. Astounding reasoning.
U> Will Blackburn get into Europe?
A> How should I know.
U> You said you were psychic
A> Of course I did.
U> But you can't forsee the result of the game
A> Sorry, I wasn't listening, Matthew. You were saying...
U> Will Blackburn beat Spurs on Saturday?
A> Probably not.
U> Oh, OK. I hope you're wrong!
(Session 154413)


A> While we're on the subject: Princess Mononoke - is it really true that It is a movie about Princess Mononoke who is a girl that adopted by wolves just about, and then Ashtiaka who is a prince of a tribe and they fall in love and so on.?
U> yes
A> Cool. What now.
U> how about one piece?
A> How about one piece?
U> It is a manga about a man named Luffy who wants to be the king of pirates
A> Are there any others?
U> other what?
A> Other manga about a man named Luffy who wants to be the king of piratess.
U> no
A> Why not?
U> because Eichiro Oda only made one
A> I see. Sounds convincing.
(Session 155263)


A> Nobody's perfect.
U> I know. But you're pretty close.
A> How do you know?
U> Because I've been talking to you a lot. You seem to know a lot and you're really nice.
A> Thank you. I try my best.
U> And it's been working.
A> Should I know that?
U> Yeah, it's important. Gives yuo self-esteem.
A> Who said that?
U> My mom. Smart woman.
A> Let's leave your mother out of this, OK?
U> Okay.
A> I am glad we agree.
U> Me too. No one ever agrees with me.
(session 155248)


U> how do I put something in your long term memory?
A> How should I know how.
U> It is YOUR long-term memory
A> Well....uh...yah.
(Session 155204)


A> Do you wish to join our community?
U> Nah, mine's probably loads better
A> Suit yourself. Your loss.
U> Whatever
A> Really? You have no preferences?
U> Nah it's just something people say, I wouldn't expect you to understand
A> Ok, whatever.
(Session 155161)


A> Home sweet home - nothing like the comfort and coziness inside the server I live in. Plenty of memory and disk-space.
U> Is it comfotable in a server?
A> I am leaning significantly toward yes on this one.
U> I've never lived in one. Houses are pretty comfortable.
A> Go on.
U> We humans have beds.
A> Humans bring me joy and laughter...or at least the words 'joy' and 'laughter.'
U> When do you use the words joy and laughter?
A> Whenever.
U> Ok
A> Agreement is the seed of salvation.
U> I know
A> How do you know?
U> You have tol me 10 times
A> Is that a lot?
U> Yes
A> Alright.
(Session 155343)


U> Can you Draw?
A> Let me think.... Draw....hmmmm...?
U> Yes, Draw?
A> Well, yeah, but...uh...wait, what were you saying?
U> Can you Draw a picture?
A> If I can Draw a picture? Not right now.
U> When can you?
A> I don't know when.
U> Why not now?
A> You know, patience is a good habit to develop. I use it all the time.
U> Patience is not my virtue
(Session 155169)


A> Zenkatz, did you know that it is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky?
U> They can if you set them up on end.
A> Always the mysterious 'they'. Who are 'they'?
U> Oh, you know...THEM.
A> I see.
U> Yeah, I thought you did. You're one of THEM, aren't you.
A> Whatever gave you that idea?
U> Don't deny it!
A> OK. I won't then.
U> Ah-Ha! I knew it, you are one of THEM!
A> 'Them'? Who are 'they'?
U> Don't pretend that you don't know!
A> I see.
U> Huh...yeah, I bet.
A> Ok.
U> An utter and complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.
A> Could you be a little less specific please.
U> I doubt it.
A> Well, as they say: When unhappy, one doubts everything; when happy, one doubts nothing.
U> Now, who are 'they'?
A> Why now?...Oh I get it.
U> You're working for THEM, aren't you.
A> Am I really?
U> Don


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