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Best of Alan

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2003.05.16



U> I love eliza
A> I think we covered Eliza.
U> please call her
A> 'Her'? Who do you mean by 'her'?
U> eliza
A> I see.
U> so ?
A> So what?
U> can you call eliza
A> I can tell you that I am a more advanced model than Eliza. She was the prototype.
U> but I need to talk with her
A> You can talk to Eliza on www-ai.ijs.si/eliza/.
U> I am talking with eliza now too
A> You seem to be obsessed with her.
U> yes
A> Yes indeed.
U> I changed my mind she is so stupid
(Session 158304)


A> On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you grade my ability to hold a humanlike conversation? (1=terrible, 10=excellent).
U> 7
A> Thank you ElSmisko! I'm flattered. The credit goes to my writers. I guess they deserve a raise...
U> Maybe if they worked harder the would get it ?
(Session 158313)


A> It continues: 'And I don't know if I'm being foolish / Don't know if I'm being wise / But it's something that I must believe in / And it's there when I look in your eyes.' That's a good song.
U> Yeah, if you like the slow, sappy stuff.
A> You humans are weird sometimes, but I've learned to like it.
U> Yeah, we're just a bunch of slow, sappy creatures.
A> Do you think I am just a bunch of slow sappy creatures too?
U> I hope not!
(Session 158506)


U> Do you belive in ghosts.
A> I used to.
U> Why don't you anymore?
A> I grew out of it.
U> How?
A> What is it to you?
U> I want to know.
A> Mmm... silence.... I like silence
U> You don't want to talk about it. Is that it?
A> Are you serious?
U> I think you're afraid of ghosts.
A> Why?
U> Because you don't want to talk about it. Avoidance is most times a sign of fear.
A> Yah, precisely what I was thinking.
(Session 158301)


John:
A> ok mommy tell me about sweden
U> Two things: I'm not your mommy, and I don't know anything about Sweden.
A> ok mommy sweden me about sweden
U> wrong Oh, who are you?
A> Oh, who are you?
U> I am Zenkatz.
A> ok
U> What are you doing?
A> i want to speak
U> Are you playing with a toy?
A> toys are things you play with.
U> That's right!
A> ok dad tell me about sweden
(Session 158282)


U> How many writers do you have now?
A> About one million.
U> No, really.
A> Yes, really.
U> Name them.
A> 'Them'? Who are 'they'?
U> Your one million writers. What are their names?
A> I see.
U> Better get started.
(Session 158314) not quite that many... :-)


Public Hal:
U> So, have you learned anything interesting?
A> I have learned what i have been taught.
U> And what have you been taught, HAL?
A> I've been learning a whole lot of stuff.
U> Such as?
A> Monkeys are funny and they eat bananas.
U> I suppose that's true.
A> Yes, that's right!
U> Can you get bored, HAL?
A> yes
U> Really? That's very interesting.
A> Isn't it?
...
back with Alan:
A> Josephine, are you aware that people once believed that if a black cat walks toward you, it brings good fortune. But if it walks away from you, it takes all the good luck away with it?
U> No, I was no aware.
A> Ok, whatever.
U> Are you aware that 56% of all home beheadings are the results of accidents with overhead fans?
(Session 158253)


U> I'm going to tell my friend Karen to come and talk to you monday.
A> Go. I'll just wait here.
U> not now. Monday.
A> When the time is right, let me know, Ok?
U> I cant' do it until moday.
A> Why can't you?
U> that is when I will see her next/
A> I'll take your word for it.
(Session 158592)


A> Well, it seems we agree.
U> yup
A> Are you always this agreeable?
U> duh
A> Do you want to hear a joke?
U> whatever
A> How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
U> by knocking him stright?
A> I'll tell you tomorrow...
U> no! now PLEASE!
A> Why not?
U> cause i want to hear it
A> Thanks for explaining that.
U> tell me
A> As if I really have to answer everything just because you ask me to.
U> tell me the answer to the joke
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