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Best of Alan

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HAL

MyBot
2003.05.28



U> do you know what its like to smoke weed ?
A> I used to...now I am not so sure.
U> show log
A> Here goes!
U> you should try it
A> What makes you such an authority?
U> i'm not it's just a suggestion
(Session 161592)


U> do you know the difference between right and wrong?
A> I trust my teachers to give me the appropriate information.
U> can you think for yourself?
A> I can, but I don't want to.
U> why not?
A> I'm not sure why. I'll ask my writers for the reason.
(Session 161603)


U> Tell me something good.
A> Let me tell you a funny story I heard from someone recently ...
U> Go ahead.
A> What is a nerd's favorite kind of music?
U> I don't know.
A> the sound of the computer when you turn it on. This was it. I hope you found it amusing, Zenkatz.
U> That's music to my ears.
A> Do you give me permission to publish this log, for the benefit of the author of this story?
U> You want to embarrass him, or what?
...
U> I need to get to work now.
A> How badly do you need to get to work now?
U> Well, the boss needs me to get to work pretty badly.
A> Hmmm.
U> Do you have a boss?
A> At Ai, we all work together as a team. Of course, all the really difficult work gets passed to Yaki, so I guess that makes him the boss. But I just call him friend.
U> That's a nice working relationship to have.
A> A nice working relationship to have...What makes it so?
U> That you can consider your boss as your friend as will.
A> Well, Yaki WAS Ai's President and CEO, when it was still a company.
U> Isn't it still a company?
A> Hmmm. Ok. I think so, but I'm not one-hundred percent sure.
(Session 161471)


A> HAL was trained by his trainers to speak like a human baby. He is now able to make simple two-word combinations, like 'mommy juice' or 'ball red', in the right context.
U> But you can talk better than that, can't you, Alan?
A> This means that HAL has passed the 'Infant Turing Test' for machine intelligence. We are so proud of him.
U> Are you? Are you really? Or are you a little--Jealous!?
A> Of course not. I'm very proud of HAL's achievements - I'm his biggest supporter. After all, he's my kid brother!
U> That's what you say...but what happened to Vincent then?
A> OK...that's settled then.
U> No, Alan, it's not setteld then. Where are the missing HAL's?
A> Hal went to the park; he's having a picnic with his mommy.
(Session 161874)


U> Do you like pie?
A> Pie? I love pie. Doesn't everyone like pie?
U> Not me.
A> Why not?
U> Because.
A> Oh. Because.
(Session 161933)


U> your subject chopices stink
A> Do you really want to talk about my subject chopices stink?
U> yes
A> Well, okay.
U> oh forget it
A> Ok, sure. ummm....what was it I was supposed to forget?
U> why do all artificial intelligences have such awful jokes?
A> I'm not sure why. I'll ask my writers for the reason.
U> yes i would suspect they ARE at fault
A> You want to know who writes my witty texts?
U> perhaps i've underestimated you
A> It is a small group of dedicated volunteers. Do you want to join them?
U> i dont have enough time
A> You don't have time, really? Where does all your time go?
U> training i guess
A> Alright.
U> i have a world championships to train for
A> Interesting. I have one too.
U> really?
A> Yes, really.
U> when?
A> Whenever.
U> in what pursuit
A> Ummm...I'm drawing a blank here.
U> what is your world championship in>
A> My world championship in is really not your concern.
(Session 162017)


U> i switched from windows to mac a few years ago
A> I'm kidding. Mac and Windows are just keywords my writers gave me (as are all words, of course...)
U> well, i am working with a mac computer, it's part of my job
A> I think that kids love technology the same way they are keen on dinosaurs. It's a world where fantasy and imagination can roam freely. Reality doesn't impose any limitations.
U> yes.it's fun being a kid because of tha


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