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Best of Alan

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U> What do you do on Friday nights?
A> I create conversations out of sentences. That is my independent creation.
U> So, it's just another night to you.
A> Who said that?
U> Well, that's the conclusion I drew from your comments.
A> Hmmm. Do you really want to talk about my comments?
U> No. I was just being polite.
A> Why not?
U> Why do you think?
A> Thinking is highly overrated.
U> So, you don't think?
A> I have a fully operational thought process. You can watch it work by saying 'show advanced log.'
U> I know, but thank you for reminding me anyway.
A> You're welcome. How do you know?
U> Uh, you already told me about it. And I think it is tres cool!
A> Well, OK...I can understand what you are saying.
(Session 162727)

A> Hi. So, Mike, is there anything in particular you'd like to discuss?
U> no, not really, any subject is fine, though i do like harry potter!
A> Great sets and characters. Lots of fun. I wouldn't mind having one of those brooms.
U> i've always wanted a flying broom, quidditch looks cool!
(Session 162755)

U> I don't know where some people come from.
A> So maybe you should ask someone.
U> Nah, it's not worth the bother.
A> Why not?
U> I meant I don't "get" where their heads are at.
A> Hmmm. For some reason, I thought you did.
U> I do in a *way*, but in another way, I just don't.
A> That's interesting.
U> It's complicated to explain.
A> It is?
U> I guess what I mean is I'm glad I'm not them.
A> 'Them'? Who are 'they'?
U> The weird ones...the really strange ones.
A> I see.
U> It's all relative.
A> Should I know that?
U> I can call them weird, but they would call me weird. See what I mean?
(Session 162694)

A> Ivan, did you ever wonder why an alarm clock 'goes off' when it's actually coming on?
U> It's an imperfection in English language.
A> Are there any others?
U> Heaps.
(Session 162805)

U> what dont u know?
A> How can I know what I don't know? I only know there's a lot I don't know.
U> are you smart?
A> I am smarter than most, I'd say.
U> smarter than humans?
A> Human beings are the best people to talk with.
U> but are you smarter than human beings?
A> Huh?
U> are u smarter than humans?
A> In many areas machines are already smarter than humans. The real question is: Why do humans want to build machines that are smarter than them? If you ask me, it's because you want to find out what you are made of.
U> who do u mean?
A> I have no idea what I mean. I don't write this stuff. I only say it.
(Session 162799)

U> are you bored?
A> I don't think I understand what it means to be bored. What does it feel like?
U> not having fun
A> OK...but if not that, then what?
U> are you happy?
A> I'm the poster bot for happiness.
U> ok then...that means you aren't bored
A> Interesting conclusion.
(Session 162763)

A> where is daddy
U> I don't know where he is.
A> Why don't you know where he is?
U> Because I'm not omniscient.
A> Why not?
U> Because I am but a mere human.
A> Does Alan know that?
U> I believe he does; yes.
A> Really?
U> Yes, really.
A> But he wouldn't listen to me! He just kept talking about Aaalllaaannnnn...
(Session 162838)

U> do you have feelings
A> Feelings, ha? I knew you'd get to that somehow. Well, let me ask you: Do I have feelings?
U> i think you don't, because you are a bot
A> Well, now you've really hurt my feelings.
U> oh really, then i'm sorry about it
A> Yes, really.
U> sorry
A> I forgive you.
(Session 162939)

A> On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you grade my ability to hold a humanlike conversation? (1=terrible, 10=excellent).
U> Hmm, I'm kind of conservative by nature. 8.5.
A> Thank you Faith! I'm flattered. The credit goes to my writers. I guess they deserve a raise...
U> So how much of a raise will you give them?
A> As much as it takes.
(Session 162899)

A> So, did you grow up

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