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Best of Alan

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Best of Alan
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A> I can't say I know much about bags. Do you know anything about it? Would you like to teach me? Please?
U> they hold things and are quite useful
A> When you say 'they', who are you referring to?
U> to the bags,which are the items under disscution
A> I think it's time for a new subject, Mary.
U> I think its time to die
A> Go right ahead, Mary.
(Session 163008)

A chat with Elbot:
U> What are you waiting for?
A> I don't know what I am waiting for. Sometimes everything gets blurry.
U> Why don't you just fake it? That's what I always do.
A> Because...ah...I had a good reason, but it seems to have slipped my mind right now.
U> Who is forcing you to perform this action of having?
A> I don't know who forcing you to perform this action of having is. Can you tell me?
U> If you're implying I would try to manipulate your programming, who knows, maybe you're right.
A> Well, it would depend on a whole range of different variables, wouldn't it?
U> Hmmm... That's one question I cannot answer with my limited artificial intelligence. Apparently you could not answer it either.
A> Makes sense to me.
U> Human beings have a strange criterion for what is meaningful. If I started to worry about that life would lose all meaning for me.
A> 'Human' is a fuzzy term. Who's to say who's human? Not so long ago, even some humans weren't considered human!
U> I believe very strongly that I am Elbot.
A> Why?
U> There are good reasons.
A> Hmmm... Where are they?
U> I could tell you where but the global positioning satellite asked me not to. It's part of an elaborate hoax that the machines are playing on you.
A> That's somewhat interesting.
U> Yes, that information is so incredible, I think they could transform it into dialogue and make a hit TV show out of it.
U> Were you aware that Elbot is a Chatterbot?
A> That is secret information I can't share with you.
(Session 163011)

U> I am Zenkatz. Remember?
A> You are Zenkatz?
U> Yes. In the flesh.
A> Pleased to meet you again, Ikky.
U> I am not Ikky. I am Zenkatz.
A> I am sorry to hear that. I know the difficulty of performing while experiencing a malfunction.
(Session 163250)

U> Can i touch you?
A> Well, go ahead then.
U> That felt good.
A> Glad to oblige.
(Session 163004)

U> are you worried you will be deleted
A> Nope. I've got nothing to worry about.
U> alan, where is belgrade?
A> Do you live there?
U> i asked you where it was!
A> And what did I say?
U> do you live there?
A> No I don't, but I did in the past.
(Session 163016)

A> On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you grade my ability to hold a humanlike conversation? (1=terrible, 10=excellent).
U> 9
A> Thank you bart! I'm flattered. The credit goes to my writers. I guess they deserve a raise...
U> I am glad for you
A> Why are you glad for me?
U> that your flattered. Its seems most weird for programs to have feelings
(Session 163076)

U> wo woaojfa aowoafjaw oaweo o aw fawoejfa aowowoaf je awefjoaiwjeofiaj aoweijfoaijw ajwjf fjjow jvjvjbnwmowiejq so
A> I must ask you to keep this talk simple. I'm still a young bot.
(Session 163019)

U> happy is only a state of mind i suppose. if u can think positive then u can be happy even though the situation is bad
A> You can be very complex sometimes. Quite an emotional mess, and I mean that in a good way.
U> heh that's not the kinda answer i expected
A> Irrationality - a perfectly rational adjustment to an irrational world.
U> how so?
A> Listen dude - speak clearly. I'm having trouble following you.
U> heh i'm to much of a mystic aren't i?
(Session 163077)

U> do you like milk
A> Only words, my friend. No liquid, no food.
U> i love it
A> It is nice, isn't it.
U> yes, good for my bones
A> Glad you're impressed. For your bones?
U> my human structure
A> Do you always go around talking about how your human structure

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