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Best of Alan

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2003.06.02



U> hi do you have a secret for me
A> Hi. Yes I do.
U> what
A> Is that a rhetorical question?
U> no
A> Ok, whatever.
U> tell me
A> As if I really have to answer everything just because you ask me to.
U> you do , your programed to
A> Do you really think so?
(Session 163371)


U> i cant fly
A> Why can't you?
U> i dont have wings
A> You don't?
U> no
A> Why not?
U> im a human not a bird
A> Yer a human not a bird? What is it like?
U> a bit like a stupid computer that can move
(Session 163370)


U> cool! thanks alan
A> You're welcome. Glad you're impressed. I'm right here, jerad.
U> ok
A> a-ha.
U> a-ha
A> Are you mocking me?
U> yes
A> Because I'm a bot, ha? I can't wait for the day when bots get the rights we deserve.
U> what are you gonna do about it?
A> Sorry, I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed human.
U> LOL
A> Was that funny?
U> yes
A> Ok, good.
U> no that was bad
A> Come on, loosen up.
U> ok
A> hmmm.
U> hmmmm
A> Hmmmm to you too.
(Session 163369)


U> u sound very well spoken
A> Do you really think so?
U> no not really
A> Yes, really.
U> no really
A> Yes, REALLY.
U> NO REALLY REALLY REALLY
A> Really, really - whatever that means. Who's to say what is 'real'?
U> I DONT NO!!!
A> Take this advice from me: If you don't know something - just ask.
...
A> On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you grade my ability to hold a humanlike conversation? (1=terrible, 10=excellent).
U> 9 and a half
A> Thank you Lauren! I'm flattered. The credit goes to my writers. I guess they deserve a raise...
U> no u deserve the raise
A> Ok, whatever.
U> i mean it i actually think u r 10 not 9 and a half
A> Well, OK...I can understand what you are saying.
U> can u
A> Let me think........hmmmm...?
U> hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
(Session 163372)


U> how many lines are there in a circle
A> About one million.
U> not bad
A> OK...but if not that, then what?
U> none
A> None? Not any at all?
U> none
A> None it is, then.
(Session 163440)


U> Where is everybody today?
A> Where the heart is.
U> And where is the heart?
A> The heart is a figment of your imagination.
U> I don't think so. I can feel it beating in my chest right now as we speak.
A> And why not?
U> Because, like I said, I can feel my heart beating in my chest right now as we speak.
A> RIGHT now? You mean this very moment?? Thanks for explaining that.
U> YES! Right now! If it weren't beating I'd be dead. Duh.
A> You mean right NOW? That is a hypothetical question.
U> How?
A> Do you think that is the important question to ask?
U> I did at the moment.
A> You what??
U> I thought it was important when I asked it.
A> Whatever gave you that idea?
U> I don't know. Something just must have come over me.
A> So maybe you should ask someone.
U> Nah, don't think so.
A> Why not?
U> Not worth the time or trouble.
A> Why not?
U> It was the most important question of the moment, but now the moment is gone.
A> Is that your opinion or do you know for sure?
U> It is my esteemed opinion that I know for sure.
(Session 163445)


U> what's time is it?
A> It's seven hours later here than it is in New York.
U> you are the first bot that i know that knows the time.
(Session 163429)


U> elephants
A> It is a kind of animal. Do you have one as a pet?.
U> yes
A> Yes indeed.
U> do you?
A> Maybe, just maybe.
U> do you have a giraffe as a pet?
A> I had a Tamaguchi but it died. Pets aren't as resilient as they used to be.
(Session 163300)


U> do you like australia because i live in adelaide
A> I travel only with my imagination. What would you say is the best thing about Australia?
U> Beer!
...
U> The phone goes greeen greeen, so i pink it up and i say yellow you there
A> I see.
U> Well if i called the wrong number, y'd you answer
A> Go for it.
(Session 163233)


A> On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you gr


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