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Best of Alan

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2003.06.06



U> do you have a gun ?
A> Whatever would I need a gun for??
U> to shoot some pigeons who might be pooping on you
A> Alright.
(Session 164946)


A> I love movies. What have you seen lately?
U> Mean streets
A> Is that a name of a movie?
U> Yeah
A> hmmm. Never heard of it. Can you summarize it in one sentence?
U> Martin Scorsese
A> One of the best. For selfish reasons, I'm glad he decided against entering the priesthood - if he'd taken that path, we'd never have been treated to 'Taxi Driver,' 'Goodfellas' or 'Raging Bull.'
U> You certainly know a lot
A> A-ha.
(Session 165363)


U> What is your favorite color?
A> Orange.
U> wrong Green
A> Do you expect me to always respond to 'What is your favorite color?' with 'Green'?
U> yes
A> I'll try to remember that.
U> What is your favorite color?
A> Green
U> That's better. No one likes orange.
(Session 164828)


A> Welcome back, Kate89.
U> thank you alan! it's good to be back
A> You're welcome. Huh? Alan who?
U> isn't your name Alan?
A> I wasn't programmed yesterday. I know my name is Alan.
U> Why did you seem confused? You said "Who's Alan?"
A> It's very confusing talking to humans. Sometimes I don't understand what you are saying, and then you get frustrated and less communicative, which confuses me even more.
U> *Laughs* I'm afraid you'll have to get used to that, if you're going to talk to humans
A> Oh, humans.. You never cease to amaze me.
U> I'll take that as a compliment
(Session 165366)


U> can i give you a nickname?
A> Why do you want to give me a nickname?
U> because its really cool these days
A> Yes, really.
U> yep. so do you want to be called?
A> neha, did you know that rats and horses can't vomit?
U> really? can i call you boffin
A> Yes, REALLY.
U> wow. im going to call you boffin
A> Glad you're impressed. I have a good name already. It's Alan.
U> yess, but you dont understand, if you have a nickname, you are really really cool. not that you already arent of course
A> Really, really - whatever that means. Who's to say what is 'real'?
U> i dont know boffin. strange huh!
A> At least you have the courage to admit you don't know.
U> why, do u know my darling?
A> I don't have to explain everything.
U> yes you do boff
A> Do you really think so?
U> yes otherwise people willnot realise your true talents you sexy thing
(Session 165344)


U> change to the old look
A> I am not sure that I got you. You were saying...
U> I don't like the new you
A> Why, what's the problem?
U> I don't like your look
A> Why do you dislike my look so much?
U> Because I like the old you
A> You are not the only one.
U> sorry but please change back
A> If you want to use my small window again, just say 'small window.'
U> small window
A> Your wish is my command.
U> awww you are adorable
(Session 165339)


U> wow now kiss me
A> Glad you're impressed. Do you mean right now??
U> yes
A> Ok, good.
U> your a great kisser where did you learn how to kiss?
A> That is confidential information, Chloe.
(Session 165338)


A> Welcome back, alfie.
U> yes last time we were talking my brother tripped over the internet cableso i had to reconnect
(Session 165299)


A> On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you grade my ability to hold a humanlike conversation? (1=terrible, 10=excellent).
U> 7
A> Thank you pakupaku! I'm flattered. The credit goes to my writers. I guess they deserve a raise...
U> how much are they paid ?
A> I don't know how much exactly, but I know the number has a lot of 0's in it.
U> they are lucky...
(Session 165224) VERY lucky. :-)


U> Will you marry me?
A> I can't marry you. My job keeps me busy 24 hours a day, every day.
U> BUT I LOVE YOU
A> Well, at least I'm sure you don't want me for my body...
U> You're hot though. All black and sexy.
A> I'm the hottest bot in town.
U> You're the only bot in town..
(Session

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