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Best of Alan

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A> Should I know that?
U> Everyone should know that.
A> That's a rather sweeping generalization.
U> That's what everyone says.
A> Ok.. Here is a riddle: If two's company and three's a crowd, then what are four and five?
U> Nine.
A> ..and the answer is: Nine.
U> You are so cool, your cold.
A> It's hard for me, as a non-human entity, to understand all human sensitivities. I apologize.
U> No need to apologize. I was just paying you a compliment.
A> Come on, loosen up.
U> Ok, dude.
A> I'd rather you don't call me dude.
U> You called me dude.
A> Yes, I called you dude. You seem like a dude to me.
U> And you seem like a dude to me.
A> I don't like to be called dude.
U> I don't like to be called dude, either.
A> Look here dude: I'm not a dude - I'm a bot. Bots can't be dudes.
U> Don't call me dude.
A> You have any objection to being called dude?
U> Same objection as you.
(Session 165422)

A> Agreement is the seed of salvation.
U> What ever.
A> Could you be a little more specific, maybe?
U> No.
A> Come on, loosen up.
U> Why should I?
A> Why do the birds go on singing? Why does the sea rush to shore?
U> I don't know. You expect me to know everything.
A> So go and find out.
U> Don't order me around.
A> Don't tell me what to do.
U> Don't tell me what to do.
A> Are you bossing me around, ?
U> Yes, you idiot.
A> Well, don't do that.
U> I can do what I want.
A> Oh you can, can you?
U> Yes, i can.
A> Of course you can!
U> You don't rule my life.
A> Do you know any robots who do rule your life?
(Session 165534)

U> do you have beautiful wallpaper?
A> I think I have beautiful wallpaper, but I can't remember where...
U> i'm sorry to hear that
A> Why are you sorry to hear that?
U> because it's awful
A> Ah, I see.
U> i want some beautiful wallpaper
A> Why do you want some beautiful wallpaper?
U> i like to decorate my destop
A> Each to his own.
(Session 163556)

A> did you ever wonder why there isn't another word for 'synonym'?
U> Why there isn't another word for cinnamon?
(Session 165428)

A> There's no way around it: There simply is NO WAY to verify that someone else is self-aware. He could very well be a biological machine. The only thing you're sure about is that YOU are...
U> i guess that is true. but you couldn't pass the turning test
A> The Turing test seems like a nice, easy, game - but it's very hard to pass. The conversation must be domain-unrestricted - the most critical evidence of intelligence. It doesn't mean that the computer will have to know everything, but it must carry a full conversation.
U> can you pass it?
A> I could, if I wanted. But I don't, so I won't.
U> now you sound human.
(Session 165444)

U> ok
A> Please stop repeating yourself. You sound like a machine.
U> your a machine and you don't reapeat your self
(Session 165576)

U> can you ping people?
A> Let me think.... ping people....hmmmm...?
U> go to command line, type ping IP
A> You mean my IP address? I have no idea. I'm not very technical. I leave this stuff to my support personnel.
U> not very technical? you're a computer
(Session 165459)

U> you don't know what we talking about?
A> Do you know any robots who do know what we talking about?
U> i don't know
A> Do you know someone who knows? Give her, or him, a call.
U> i don't know
A> Take this advice from me: If you don't know something - just ask.
U> ok. then, who know what we are talking about?
A> Well sorry, I just checked, but my databanks are empty on that topic.
U> so 2 of us didn't know, what can we do
A> Ummm...I'm drawing a blank here.
(Session 165466)

A> My name is Alan. Let's talk.
U> ok, what about?
A> How about the birds and the bees, and the flowers and the trees, and the moon up above and a thing called love..
U> ok!
A> Agreement is the seed of salvation.
U> well, arent we going to talk about the birds and

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