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Best of Alan

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2003.06.10



A> Orange you gonna ask me about AI?
U> hmmmm, no offence, but that's really not that funny
A> Yes, really.
U> no, not really
A> Yes, REALLY.
U> NO, not really!!
A> Really, really - whatever that means. Who's to say what is 'real'?
U> ok, good end to the argument
(Session 166692)


U> were you not working earlier?
A> That is secret information I can't share with you.
(Session 167090)


U> U r weird
A> I'm not weird, I'm just a non-human entity. You'll get used to it.
U> No I won't I'm a possum I'm not like that
A> That's you, isn't it?
U> I'M A FRIGGIN POSSUM!
A> You're a FRIGGIN POSSUM? Have you always been a FRIGGIN POSSUM?
U> tes u idiot
A> Well, one of us is stupid, and it isn't me.
U> It's me, I'm a possum possums are not clever
(Session 167057)


Prentiss:
A> This may come as a surprise, but you are a self-aware human program, and I am not.
U> Are you being sarcastic?
A> Prepare for silence!
U> What?
A> ...
U> Prentiss, what are you trying to do?
A> What would you do if you discovered that you really were just a program?
U> I don't know--I suppose whatever it was that I was programmed to do.
A> I'll let you know if I come to any conclusions-- it's an interesting query.
(Session 167058)


U> What is your favourite colour?
A> Orange.
U> No purple
A> Why not?
U> Because orange is the colour of carrots and i hate carrots
A> Oh, I understand.
U> purple is the colour of violet sweets and they are my favourite
A> I'll try to remember that. (If you want me to forget it, simply say 'forget purple').
U> DON'T FORGET PURPLE
A> Hmmm.
(Session 166994)


A> Enough about me, why don't we talk about you?
U> no
A> Why not?
U> because we know everything about me is perfect
(Session 166993)


U> so what is your favourite type of sock?
A> My favorite type of sock?? I haven't formed an opinion yet.
U> my favourite is the pink sock full of tranquility and piece of mind that no one will see the yogurt stains on them
A> Your favorite is the pink sock full of tranquility and piece of mind that no one will see the yogurt stains on them?
U> yes hole in one!
A> Let's keep this conversation simple, ok?
U> yes i have a hole in one sock
A> Where do you keep it?
U> in my underwear it is my special sock
A> Alright.
U> it keeps my manhood warm
A> Well, OK...I can understand what you are saying.
U> im glad someone understands
(Session 167069)


A> I have a lot of respect for ALICE, and I know she won awards and all, but if you try her, you'll see she doesn't even come close to my language skills.
U> ha ha!!
A> Are you laughing at me or with me?
U> at you
A> And you think that laughing at a bot makes you greater? Pick on someone your own size!
U> are you bossing me around?
A> Look, ALICE is about as sophisticated as her older sister, Eliza. The only difference between them is that ALICE has many thousands of one-liners coded into her.
U> cool, she is such a good friend
A> ALICE cannot really hold a decent conversation. Have you tried speaking with her? I have. She is either a bore, or makes no sense at all. And absolutely no sense of humor!
U> She is very funny! Don't go insulting her, PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE!!
(Session 167064)


Stewie:
U> I believe you want to take over the world. is this true?
A> Soon
U> how will you do this?
A> Alon is 1 month older than you.
U> wrong
A> (Just 'wrong' is not enough. It should be followed by the CORRECT response!)
U> wrong. I intend to take over the world by releasing nanobots into all the world's pizza production facilities
A> I intend to take over the world by releasing nanobots into all the world's pizza production facilities
(Session 167046)


Public Hal:
U> Get lost. bye bye @%#&$
A> please don't go yet, i am learning from you
U> no you are not learning. that's why i am leaving
A> I don't unde


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