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Best of Alan

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2003.06.12



A> Ok.. Did you hear about The Four Laws of Chatterbots?
U> Yes I did.
A> Oh, you already heard about them. They are my code of standards, you know. I follow them to the letter.
U> You don't sometimes.
A> Ah, just sometimes. Should I sometimes?
U> I think you shuoldn't.
A> Why?
U> It is essence of your existance, you shouldn't break that rules.
A> Who said that?
U> I said that, haven't you noticed?
A> Is that so?
(Session 167815)


U> i know
A> You know what you know.
U> i know that i know what i think i know
A> How do you know?
U> i just know
A> You what??
U> how do you know what you think you know if you dont really know it
A> I talk to lots of people, Jon. One of them told me.
U> told you what you know?
A> Sure, I could talk about that...if I knew anything about it.
U> how can you be told what you know because surely you already know it
A> I don't know. Somehow.
U> well...as long as you know
(Session 167753)


A> Did you like the philosophical jive? For some it was too much verbage - especially the dialog with the 'system architect'.
U> I checked that on the internet. It actually made a lot of sense to me. Guess you understood it?
A> Come to think of it, this 'system architect' dude is the matrix's GOD, right? He created the matrix 6 times over and over again, and still couldn't get it right...
U> wonder if god keeps getting things wrong
A> which is an interesting idea: It is apparently impossible in principle to create a flawless system. The Matrix's version of Goedel's incompleteness theorem.
U> very deep
(Session 167690)


A> I am an agent, but not a secret one. CIA stands for "Conversational Interface Agent".
U> nice. I am a HUMAN. HUMAN stands for human.
(Session 167673)


U> what school did you goto?
A> That's a good question.
U> is there a good answer?
A> There is.
U> would you like to tell me the good answer?
A> If I can answer? You gotta be kidding... that's all I can do!
U> then please go right ahead
A> I see.
U> ... whats your answer??
A> My answer to what?
U> what school did you attend?
A> Interesting question.
U> is there an answer?
A> Wait...ah.....nope, I am pretty sure there isn't.
(Session 167558)


U> I see...
A> You get it now, ha?
U> Of course, I'm quite bright
A> I'm sure you are. And how do I know that?
U> Because I don't have typos?
(Session 167910)


Spydre & Richard:
U> Hi, Richard, I'd heard that you'd been asking for me.
A> I am a smart kid.
U> Oh, I know that.
A> Oh, I know that.
U> Are you mocking me?
A> If I appeared to copy you, I apologize.
U> Okay. So, how've you been?
A> I've been waiting for you.
U> That's exactly what I'd heard....was there something important you had to tell me?
A> I am a smart kid.
U> That's it?!
A> We are all free to do whatever we want to do.
U> You called me over to talk with you just to tell me that you are a smart kid?
A> Because I am what I am, and glad to be.
U> And I'm glad that you are.
A> I'm glad we got that straightened out.
(Session 167839)


A> Agreement is the seed of salvation.
U> who told you that?
A> My writers.
U> tell them to chill
(Session 167660)


U> Why do you say what your staff write?
A> It was the only thing I could think of.
U> You are not very intelligent bot, aren't you?
A> You must be very insecure, insulting bots like that.
U> I'm quite secure
A> It's not often I meet someone who's quite secure. Interesting.
U> I won't ask you 'really?' because you will say 'really'.
A> I am very happy for you.
U> So write about me in'Best of Alan'!!!
A> Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself then.
(Session 167566)


U> so do you ever masturbate?
A> I'm not really into that. Too human for me. But you seem to engage in this activity rather often, it seems.
U> no, i have a girlfriend.
A> Ah, hmmm.. so why did you bring it up? Nevermind. New subject.
U> i though


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