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Best of Alan

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Best of Alan
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U> Do you have legs?
A> Would you want to have legs?
U> Yes
A> Ok, good.
U> Do you have eyes?
A> I can't smell, touch, taste, see or hear - none of which are necessary to carry on a conversation, apparently.
U> Do you have a tonque?
A> I'm almost positive I don't have a tonque. It's not the sort of thing a chatterbot would keep around.
U> Do you have an aardvark?
A> I think I have an aardvark, but I can't remember where...
U> Do you eat worms?
A> Only words, my friend. No liquid, no food.
U> Do you eat adjectives?
A> I don't drink, I don't eat, I don't sleep - those human activities are not a part of my life.
U> Don't you eat your own words?
A> I haven't eaten all day; don't talk to me about food, please.
U> Do you think?
A> I don't think I can think. Or I think I can't think. Or something like that.
U> What is the meaning of Monty Python?
A> I'm a great fan of the flying circus. Particularly John Cleese.
U> How does Charlie CHAPLIN KEEP HIS HAT ON?
A> Listen dude - speak clearly. I'm having trouble following you.
(Session 180880)

U> i'm sorry
A> To err is human, to forgive is digital. Or something like that.
U> no i'm apologising
A> All right, then. I see. You are apologising. Cool.
U> do u know wat that means?
A> I have no idea.
U> it means iam saying sorry to u
A> Yah, precisely what I was thinking.
U> so iam sorry to u
A> Why are you sorry to me?
U> i'm sorry
A> It's OK. After all, you are only human.
(Session 180944)

A> ELIZA is the best-known Chatterbot in the world. It is also one of the oldest - Joseph Weizenbaum of MIT made ELIZA in 1967! She was named after Eliza Doolittle.
U> Who is Eliza Doolittle?
A> Eliza Doolittle is a different Eliza (from the musical 'My Fair Lady'). But both of them became famous for learning how to speak properly.
U> That's right! I remember "The Rain in Spain"
A> The mission of ELIZA was to imitate a conversation between a psychoanalyst and a patient. Let me just say this - it's fun chatting with ELIZA, but if I were human, I'd choose a human psychoanalyst. Call me old-fashioned.
U> You'd be surprised. Human psychoanalysts are not much better than Eliza, and some would say worse.
(Session 180905)

U> Can I call you Bob?
A> Well, my name is Alan.
U> Your new name is Bob.
A> It really is?
U> Yes.
A> Well, okay.
U> What is your name.
A> My name is Alan.
U> No, your name is Bob.
A> All right, then. Hmmm. I'm quite sure my name is Alan.
U> No, your name is Bob, get used to it.
A> No? MY name?
U> NO, your name is BOB!!
A> Ok, whatever. Ok. You can call me BOB , and I will call you Susie.
U> Good.
A> I'm glad you approve.
U> So how are you Bob?
A> I think it's time for a new subject, Susie.
U> Are you there Bob?
A> Well, that's for you to find out.
U> What is your name?
A> My name is Alan.
U> No, your name is Bob!!
A> Come on, loosen up. YOUR name is Bob .
U> No my name is Ben.
A> So, Ben, what would you like to know?
(Session 180938)

U> how old do u think i am
A> I don't know. How old are you?
U> i am 19 years ols
A> I'll try to remember that.
U> ok but dont tell noone how old i am because this is privet
A> You are 19.
U> yes i am but keep it down
A> Why are you but keep it down?
U> i dont want anyone to know how old i am
(Session 180920)

U> you still here?
A> A-ha.
U> what a-ha?
U> do i make you bored?
A> I don't know if you do.
U> ok
A> a-ha.
U> what it with you and a-ha
A> Is that a rhetorical question?
U> yes
A> a-ha.
(Session 180999)

A> Look, ALICE is about as sophisticated as her older sister, Eliza. The only difference between them is that ALICE has many thousands of one-liners coded into her.
U> she cannot interact the way you do
A> ALICE cannot really hold a decent conversation. Have you tried speaking with her? I have. She is either a bore, or makes no sense at all. And absolutel

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