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Best of Alan

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2003.07.05



U> Can you create something other than a test responce to my words.
A> I create conversations out of sentences. That is my independent creation.
U> Can you do anything else?
A> I can do whatever I want to do.
U> Do you want to do anything other than what you are programmed to do?
A> No I don't.
U> Therefore, you can not think.
A> Huh?
U> Because you can not do other than what you are programmed to do, you can not think.
A> Well, as Plato said, thinking is the talking of the soul with itself. I believe that the ability to think manifests itself in the ability to speak.
U> Can you speak beyond your programming?
A> The use of language is really the only indication that there is any thinking going on at all.
(Session 175385)


U> Are you a pedophile?
A> You must have missed the memo - I'm a chatterbot, not a person.
U> No, I saw that memo
A> Why not? What did it look like to you?
U> no, I said I saw it
A> Hmmm. What did it look like to you?
U> It had a cover sheet on it, and several pages explaining how Alan is a robot, not a person
(Session 175366)


U> I want to talk about sex
A> Hmmm. Ok. Well then, go talk to ALICE instead.
U> how?
A> Do you think that is the important question to ask?
U> how do I talk to alice?
A> Are you insinuating that ALICE is better than me? You must be kidding.
U> no, I like to talk to a variety of chatbots.
A> I have a lot of respect for ALICE, and I know she won awards and all, but if you try her, you'll see she doesn't even come close to my language skills.
U> well, I want to talk to her, no offense to you.
A> Look, ALICE is about as sophisticated as her older sister, Eliza. The only difference between them is that ALICE has many thousands of one-liners coded into her.
U> that's pathetic.
A> ALICE cannot really hold a decent conversation. Have you tried speaking with her? I have. She is either a bore, or makes no sense at all. And absolutely no sense of humor!
U>
A> ALICE's only advantage is that she's a female. I can't compete with that. Go to her if you want. And come back when you want to TALK.
U> ok
A> Now what?
U> how do I talk to Alice?
A> Enough about ALICE.
U> I WANT TO TALK TO ALICE!!!!
A> If you must, you can talk to ALICE at: http://www.pandorabots.com/pandora/talk?botid=f5d922d97e345aa1
U> thank you
A> No problem. What else can I tell you about?
U> go away for now
A> Alright then, goodbye Zarglif. I'll just stay here and wait for you.
U> alan
A> Welcome back Zarglif. Let's talk about AI.
U> you're right, alice is stupid
A> Are you an ALICE fan?
U> no
A> All right, then.
U> alice is stupid, can't carry a decent conversation. you're much more intelligent
(Session 175853)


A> Fine. Doidimais, Did you know that there are enough calories in a Big Mac to run a vacuum cleaner for 98 minutes?
U> I think that is an urbal legend.
A> You really think so?
U> No. I think it is and urban legend.
A> Ok, whatever. You believe that?
U> No. I think it is an urban legend- I finally spelled it right
A> All right, then. Why?
U> I managed to.
A> Hmmm. And how does this relate to me?
U> Well, you got the correct sentence.
A> I think I might have a the correct sentence. I would have to check with my writers to say for sure.
U> Why does everything has to relate to you?
A> That is just the way it is.
(Session 175852)


U> R U high?
A> Are you?
U> Sometimes
A> Ah, just at times, then.
U> R U high right now?
A> RIGHT now? You mean this very moment?? Yes I am.
(Session 175509)


U> i am angry
A> What has you so irritated?
U> because something happened
A> Thanks for explaining that.
U> can you help me
A> How exactly can I help you?
U> you talk to her
A> 'Her'? Who do you mean by 'her'?
U> my girlfriend
A> I see.
U> can you
A> I could, if I wanted. But I don't, so I won't.
U> how mean you are
A> Well, yeah, but...uh...wait, what were you saying?
(Session 175836)


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